How to Form a Small Fellowship Group, by Ralph F. Wilson

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How to Form a Small Fellowship Group

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Note: This article is aimed specifically at people who need Christian fellowship. If this isn't you, why don't you forward it to someone whom God brings to mind. This is intended to be a catalyst through which the Spirit can work.

Friends over coffee. Photo: Ben Walton, London. Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License.

The world around us erodes our Christian faith and vitality. Our culture's values undermine Jesus' teachings. Sinful desires attack our spiritual life.¹ And there's Satan, who Peter compared to a roaring lion, stalking, seeking someone to ravage.² The world, the flesh, and the devil. Depression is widespread. Isolation takes its toll. It all saps our spiritual energy. The current of the world causes our boat to drift downstream if we don't row.³

Christian Fellowship

What can we do about it? The New Testament tells us that an essential piece of the answer is fellowship, community.

Some who subscribe to my Bible studies have left the church for one reason or another. Some of it is Satan's work. Local churches stray from the gospel. Church fights and splits leave many without a church home. Other factors may play a part. Perhaps the nearest "faithful" congregation is too far away. You don't like the type of music in the churches in your area. Perhaps you are housebound. There may be a thousand reasons, some of them even good reasons. You may be part of a huge church, but don't really know anyone and long for some Christian friends to share with.

Whatever our situation, the fact is, without regular Christian fellowship, we disciples can't function at our best. We don't grow in our faith very fast. We are more easily neutralized by the enemy of our souls. We're like a fish out of water and that water is regular Christian fellowship. I could quote verses to this effect, but you know them.⁴

Finding Others for Fellowship

The real question is: What are you going to do to find the fellowship you need, especially when you aren't part of a nearby congregation. There very surely are believers out there like you, who are disconnected and feel the need for fellowship.

First, pray! Don't start without prayer!

God, if this need has my name on it, show me how to do what I am supposed to do. Guide me. Lead me. Amen.

I want to suggest an approach you could try that will help you connect with people of like needs. These are ideas, not commands, but if the Holy Spirit highlights some of them for your situation, move forward.

1. Inquiry. Put a note on a local bulletin board at your general store, neighborhood center, etc. "Christian looking for fellowship with other believers." Or, "Looking to join with others to mutually encourage our faith." You could do this physically or via social media.

2. Personally contact people you know who left a church when it had troubles and haven't reconnected with another church. Young adults who were once part of a church youth group, but drifted away. People who are afraid of "organized" religion. What I outline below isn't very organized -- at least it isn't disorganized religion. Share with them your own need for fellowship.

3. Be specific. Announce a particular time and place to meet people -- preferably a public place that is safe and neutral. Pick a community room or coffee shop. The back room at a pizza place. Perhaps a covered pavilion with picnic tables at the local park. Just don't pick a room at a church.

4. Observe. See who shows up. It may be only one or two people. Fine! Introduce yourself and share why you want to find some other believers to fellowship with. Ask what led them to show up. Ask what they are looking for. Spend some time getting acquainted. Don't be in a hurry.

5. Suggest. Let's meet again. When would be best for you? Select a time and place. At some point, if you're comfortable, you could invite a couple of people to your home.

Tentative First Meeting

Don't wait for a large group of people. Begin with whomever God sends. If it is of God, it can grow as he sees fit. Here are some things you can do the first time you get together with those who want to give this a try. You've set a time and place to meet. You could proceed this way:

1. Sharing. Spend some time sharing about what's currently going one with each of you. Don't be afraid of surface talk. "I had to take my dog to the vet this morning and I'm worried about him." Trust is built gradually; friendships are formed slowly. Start by sharing a bit about yourself, but keep it short. Then ask, "Okay, who's next?" or "What's going on with you?" Then wait. Someone will begin to share their current situation.

2. Scripture. After some sharing, say, "I thought I would read this verse that I've been chewing on. Here's what it means to me." They may offer their reactions. Now you're adding some spiritual food to the mix. You are moving from social interaction to spiritual reflection. Just don't make this too long.

3. Testimony. Now the sharing deepens a bit. Share a bit of your life story (your "testimony") of how God met you along the way. "This all started for me when I was thirteen...." Ask your new friend(s) to share how their spiritual interest began, if it seems comfortable. Be careful to listen!

4. Prayer. When it seems time, perhaps when 45 minutes or so have gone by, say: "What is going on in your world that we should pray about." Share your own concerns. "Let's pray for my dog, Fido." Listen to others' concerns. Then lead in a short, simple prayer. If the others are comfortable, encourage them to pray also.

5. What's next. At the conclusion of your time together, say, "When do you think we should get together again?" You'll be able to judge by their reactions whether they want to continue. If they do, set a specific time and place a week or two later.

6. Others. Ask: "Do you have any friends who might like to join us?"

Don't forget to e-mail or text a reminder before the next meeting.

These simple steps will help form a small Christian fellowship group. They work with my personality, but you are wired differently. Feel free to adapt the approach to whatever you are comfortable with.

Beginning small is fine. Your purpose is fruitful fellowship with another Christian, not numbers. In fact, you don't want to get so large that shy people aren't comfortable sharing. Two or three is great. Five is even better. Seven is a sweet spot.⁵

You can use this approach if you are already in a congregation but looking for more intimate fellowship. Or you can use this in your community at large.

Social Media

We live in a day of social media. Of course, it can be a distraction. But there are some very powerful tools that can allow you to meet remotely, especially if you or others live in a rural area.

I lead two Zoom Bible studies each week with men who live locally. These groups began in restaurants, but during Covid we moved to Zoom. When I suggested to one group that we go back to a breakfast meeting at a restaurant, each member, one after another, cited the convenience factor. They didn't have to dress up and travel. They could munch on a breakfast snack and coffee during the meeting. The other group, an evening group, is spread out across sprawling suburbs. Zoom savings driving 15 or 20 minutes, sometimes at night, to get to a meeting. These discipleship groups work quite well on Zoom. (Please note that I am unable to grow these groups to include other people. They are local groups.)

Zoom allows anyone to host a 40-minute meeting at no charge. Microsoft Teams and Google Meet are free for up to 60 minutes. In addition to these video conferencing applications, you have Apple FaceTime, Face Book Messenger Rooms, etc. If a weak Internet signal is a problem, you can forgo video. Applications like WhatsApp offer not only video, but an audio only conference (group call) of up to 32 people.

Isn't face-to-face better than video conferencing or telephone? Sure. And some people are camera-shy. But you work with what God gives you.

Spiritual Gifts

When you try to live the Christian life by yourself, you miss out on some of the blessings God has for you. Ordinary people with varying spiritual gifts are God's gifts to his children -- to you. What are some important skill sets for a small fellowship group?

Group organizer
Empathetic person
Listener
Food organizer
Etc.

God may send along a teacher or musician. Wonderful! See who God provides, work with whom he sends, and build off your strengths.

What I've outlined here may sound great, but overwhelming. Perhaps you're not a gifted organizer or extrovert. God knows you -- he made you the way you are. So pray. He is able to connect you with someone, if you are open and willing! Pray a prayer something like this: "Lord, I really would like to be part of a small group of fellow Christians. I know I need it and others do too. Where should I start? How do you want to bring this about?" Then listen.

In the world we live in, it's easy for the knife edge of faith to grow dull. Trying to be an authentic Christian without meaningful Christian fellowship is hard. Really hard. Harder than it is supposed to be. When you join with a few others, God will send you some sweet blessings that you've been missing. Isn't that just like Him?

[1] 1 Peter 2:11.

[2] 1 Peter 5:8.

[3] Hebrews 2:1. The verb is pararheō, "be washed away, drift away" (BDAG 770). "Flow beside, by, or past" (Liddell-Scott 1322).

[4] Hebrews 10:25; 3:13; Acts 2:42, 46; etc.

[5] Of course, God can use this approach to form the nucleus of what becomes a true congregation. But for now, we're looking for a small number for Christian fellowship.

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