spazzo47

I think we all have a belief that "I'm not that bad". I was talking to someone about an upcoming play their theatre will do where a pastor wakes up one day and realizes that he doesn't believe in hell. One of the key questions that's asked in the play is if there's not hell, then what happens to all the people worse than me? It's almost like we judge people, and probably ourselves, by comparing with others. I'm not as bad as the murderer who killed 19 kids and two teachers in Texas, but I'm probably not as good as my pastor's wife who never has a prayer request for herself, she always prays for other people's needs. By going to church and listening, we gets points added to that metric. I may never be as good as the pastor's wife, but, by going to church and making an effort, I must be better than the people on my plane who aren't going to church. I ran a half marathon once and people in a neighborhood we ran past came out that morning to cheer us on, some with signs that said, "YOu're running circles around the people who are still in bed." It's that kind of idea. The other reason is that we have this idea in our head that something will stick. I have a friends who believes in "Fake it till you make it." It's an idea that if you wait long enough and pretend to be happy, optimistic, etc, I eventually will be. In the case of going to church, we have this belief that people who go to church are good people, so if you go and fake being a better person long enough, you will become one. I think in all these examples, what people miss is that there has to be some sort of commitment to something. If I want to be a good runner, I have to train most days. Walking 13.1 miles one day is great, but by itself it won't make me fit, strong, or healthy. If I want to be more like the pastor's wife, I might pick something up by watching her in a small group every week, but I will learn more from spending time with her and seeing how she lives life. This past Sunday we learned about how closely the disciples followed Jesus around. It was 24/7, everything that He did. That's how rabbis taught their students, the students followed them around like ducklings every day.

Trials a lot of times take up a lot of our energy. When we're facing a trial of some sort, we are focused on that thing. I was recently in a course where one of the students had a horrible tragedy happen, the kind where you wonder how she's able to get out of bed in the morning. She was too far into the course to drop it, so for the last several weeks, every time she posted, she mentioned what she was going through. A trial like that permeates every part of our lives. What this person did, and I think it's what a lot of people do, is she spent a lot of time in prayer. She asked God for help. She listened for God's response. I don't know how many people in general get past trying to negotiate with God ("If you heal my loved one, then..."), but I think in those times people can hear or feel God's presence and comfort because they understand that at this horrible moment, they can rely on God.

I think that people blame God because if He's all powerful, then He should be able to prevent evil from happening. I answer that by thinking about the times that someone has the power to do something, but it doesn't mean they should do it. Your boss has the power to tell you to do the dirtiest, ugliest job in the company, but the question is, should he give you that job. For God, it's hard to look at evil and justify why God allows for it. He doesn't cause evil, but He doesn't stop it either. Saturday's shooting in Buffalo is an example of evil. Why would God allow that? I think it comes down to allowing us to have free will. We get to have the decision to love God and follow His commands, but we also have the right to ignore God. We have the right to ingest any media that we wish and there are consequences to ingesting media and thoughts that move our minds to something horrible. WE face the consequences of our actions, as the shooter will, but as a consequence of free will, we also face the consequences of other people's actions, as the loved ones on the victims will. I believe that God doesn't want to see any of his people suffer, but He has to allow it because it's a consequence of giving us free will. Recently I did tech for a play that included the statement that God keeps Himself ignorant of the future and completely hands off. I wanted to have a sit down with the writer because that's not how God works. I think He's aware and He grieves with us, but He has to watch the horrors that go on in the world because of His decision to let us make decisions and not be forced into doing right.

As I was reading this section I thought about the time right after college. I was unemployed, doing whatever work I could find. Mostly I worked as a substitute teacher and had a side gig stuffing mass mailings in a college mailroom. And that's when God called me to ministry. That time in my life was marked with going on nightly hour long walks where I prayed while also helping to plant a church 30 minutes away. It never occurred to me to give up the church, even though it would have saved on gas. i wish that every time of trial was a success like that was. It hasn't been. But God never gave up on me and I always came back.

I'm not sure that any of these are fully David's motivation. I think they all played into it a little, but I think there's something else going on. I see David as a man who is constantly trying to prove himself. He's the runt of the litter of the brothers. When Samuel came to find the next king, Jesse had forgotten about him. He spent a lot of time watching sheep. He was sent out to feed his brothers while they were on battle lines, even though he must have felt like he should be there as well, fighting. He was also a dreamer. For him to decide so quickly that he could, I think he had to have imagined doing it throughout his entire journey to his brothers. When he gets there and sees no one has done what he's so sure he can do, he's just incensed! How could they not see the potential for killing this guy! Some of that is God-given courage, some of that is just plain stupidity. Fast-forward a little and this guy's ego has been fluffed. Post-Goliath is probably the time that David is most able to see himself as king. The people love him, he's having these military wins. He may even have picked up that Saul is a little afraid of him. And that's why he's a little cautious when Saul says he'll give his first daughter to David as long as he fights for Saul. Saul's tried to kill him, now Saul wants him to fight in Saul's army. David may be coming to the conclusion that he has to earn Saul's favor. I think that David is also a people pleaser. His desire to please God is evident, but I think he works hard to make sure that people like him (no one complained that he was being promoted through the ranks). The other factor is he's a strategist. I don't know how you would lead the men he's leading and win the fights he's winning without having some strategic ability. If he knows that he's going to be king one day and he has a chance to marry into the family of the king, he may see this as God's will for how he's going to get there. I don't think he sees himself at this point leading a rebellion, so marrying Michel may be God's way of making sure he's able to take that role. So David, who's only goal is to constantly prove himself, who has to get Saul to like him, and who knows his destiny is to be king one day is given an opportunity to get a wife "free and clear". Marrying Michal means not having to go to war and be an indentured servant to Saul's whims. The people pleaser in David decides to go out and really impress his presumptive father-in-law by doing more than he's asked. Maybe then Saul will understand that I really sincerely want to be in the family, not a usurper to it. That should lead to family harmony so that when the natural order of things puts me in the King's throne (gee, I hope this doesn't mean anything bad happens to Jonathan), I can do it legitimately and peacefully.

I think this is a word of confidence in what will happen. He said it, and said it loud, because he is completely confident that God is going to use this for His glory. Jesus knows the plan. He knows why He had to come to earth to die. He knows that sin and death are conquored. And so there's joy at crossing the finish line (or making it through the hard part).

Jesus came to earth with one primary objective -- to free us by defeating sin. I think the scope of the mission including teaching the disciples how to love and how to minister to the people so they could spread the word of what happened. It is finished means that His objective had been met, he had stepped on the serpant's head and freedom from sin, as well as the giving of life eternal had been accomplished. What we learn from "It is finished" is that we are no longer in bondage to sin. There is forgiveness and joy in life. We don't have to live under the cloud of guilt and heartache, but we can embrace the power given to us through this sacrificial act. There is nothing we can't accomplish, assuming that we have the power of the God that defeated death behind us.

Last night I reflected on Jesus the human, so instead of rewriting that train of thought, I think the next thought that comes to mind is that Jesus was still thinking of scripture. This probably goes to his commitment again. Psalm 69:21 is probably the best verse cited t show that. At this point the darkness has been going for hours. If I understand that passage right, the darkness probably set in when God had to turn his back on Jesus. Jesus more than anyone is feeling that separation (Why have you forsaken me?). So for three hours, Jesus is completely alone on the cross, except for the sin that he's got on Him, somethign that Jesus the divine is completely aware of. His thoughts are still on scripture. I can only think through this as a human. There's the part of me that thinks he may have been timing this out like I do on a run. For Him the goal is three days, and the first one is just about done. He did 40 days in a desert and he's been training for this throughout his ministry and even before. He just has to endure basically two more days and then he gets to set the whole world free. for me, when I have those types of thoughts, that's all I can think about, the short period of time that's left, the ultimate goal. But Jesus seems to be thinking about scripture. That's the thing that's keeping him going.

I know that Jesus is all man and all divine. But at different times during his life and ministry the man part of His character stands out more than the divine and vice versa. I think this is one of the times I see him more as a man than divine. What that means for my faith is that He chose to feel every bit of the pain. He didn't shy away from the agony of what was happening. He didn't deaden himself to the pain, but he felt every bit of it. And so even knowing everything that was going on both on earth and in heaven, His first and only thought was to cry out to His Heavenly Father. He wasn't crying out to Abba, He was crying out to the only power that could save Him, if they weren't in agreement that this had to happen. This shows the depths of the committment. I can barely stand to run 30 minutes without wanting to cheat. If the darkness marks the point of no return for HIm, there were still many hours of torture that He could have changed His mind. But he didn't, because He knew what his pain was going to buy. He stuck it out because of His love for all of humanity. The effect it should have is an understanding of what love really is and a desire to live it out.

I don't think that people expect criminals to believe, and I think we assume they aren't worthy of belief. But here is this man who was about to die for his crimes, who not only showed a softness of heart, but aligned himself with a man who was being tortured, mocked and died alone. The thief recieved entrance into heaven. He got to be with his Father for eternity. This was a big "win" for Jesus. When things are piling against me, I will sometimes just call out to God, "I need a win" in other words I need something to help keep me going, to know that He's there. A lot of times that prayer is answered with something that seems insignificant, but it makes me smile. In Jesus case, His situation was far more extreme than anything I've faced, and his win is a far more impressive one than what I generally need. I think it also reminded Jesus of why He was on that cross. He died for the one. He was dying so that that one man could go to heaven.

There was a good cance that if Timothy could have missed the boat if he didn't hurry, and in this case, missing the boat meant missing his last opportunity to see Paul on Earth. I think that Paul wanted to gather his firends and family in Christ around him before he died. He wasn't in a bed, but he was on his death bed. We recently had a scare with my grandmother where it looked like she might pass, all the family was called together to see her for the last time. That's what Paul reminds me of in this passage. I don't know how bereavement days worked back then, but I expect that Timothy took a year off to make the trip. I can't imagine him not. Would I have made the trip? Absolutely.

Good friends are the people that you do life with. You've shared your life with them and vice versa. They have somehow enriched your life because you them. When they leave, it's the end to that part of your life. The relationship changes and you have to start talking about them in the past tense. I'm thinking of things like weekly coffee or inside jokes that you had just aren't part of your routine anymore. And if the parting is on bad terms, what used to be love gets turned in anger and mistrust. Losing a loved one is hard because not only is all the above true, but it's permanent (as long as you're on earth). I have a friend who moved about 4 hours away from me. I can go to where we had breakfast on Fridays and then Email her and tell her the little old guy that used to mess up our orders is still around. If she died, I don't even have that connection. One of my favorite books is Beth Moore's "To Live is Christ". It's about Paul. The first time I read it I was getting ready to move from my first to my second )both were church plants, Paul would be proud). One chapter that stuck with me the most was about how Paul knew that he wasn't going to stay in one place for very long. HOwever, he committed himself to relationships everywhere he went, knowing that leaving each place would hurt. I think part of our call is to be in relationship with other believers (and pre-Christians) because I think that it's the only way to get God's work done and it's the part of what's meant by living to the full.

I want to say the Crwon of ritgheous is given to the righteous. It's given to all who believe when they arrive in Heaven. IT's given to beleivers because they are the rigthteous. They are the ones who beleived that Christ came to earth for no reason than to die for their sins and that through that death and resurrection, they are clean in His eyes. IT's awarded because of the faith the person had while here on earth.

Whe I read those statements I think about the work that goes into running. In particular I think of marathon runners, who I have so much resepct for. In a couple minutes I'll be running about 2 miles in 25 minutes and at the end of it I'll feel completely exhausted and wondering how I'm going to ever walk again. A marathon runner will go 26+ miles. I can't even comprehend that race. For me, running doesn't mean the cheers of the crowd at the finish line, it means being able to say that I did it. I ran it and i hit the finish line. Becasue I hit the finish line wihtout stopping, it was a good run. That's what I think Paul is saying, he's finishing and finishing strong, the finish line is coming and he's proud of the work he did getting to it. For us, finishing the race means living the Christian life consistently. You don't have to be a minister to be a Christian. For those not in professional ministry it means living out your ideals without backing down from them. It means following CHrist and what He says to do. Keep the faith means that you just keep going, knowing that God has a plan for you. Keep living your witness and be ready.

Paul is telling Timothy to charge ahead even though Timothy probably doesn't feel like it. I see Timothy as having been in his assignment long enough that he's gotten into a routine and so he's missing stuff. He knows what he can get away with and he's doing that. Not that he's doing the bare minimum, but he's in a comfortable place. What Paul is saying is get out of this comfort and do just a little more. Do the things that remind him of why he went into minitry in the first place. Do the thigns that will set him on fire. don't settle. For me, I'm thinking about my job. I feel like I've been passed over for a promotion that went to two people who aren't as qualified as I am. I was thinking about that before I started reading this section, then as I was reading I remembered what I wrote last night about my co-worker and being able to minister to him. I know him well enough that I know he would resent me if I were in a position of authority over him. I wouldn't have the same open door to talk with him as I do now. The verse says endure hardship and keep your head. To me that means stay focused on what I was actually called to do. I was called into ministry several years ago whether my conference wants to believe it or not. I was not called to be a supervisor at the job I'm in. I was called to minister to this guy who's going through a hard time. That's the reason I was put here. I have to stay focused on my ministry opportunities and on my goals without losing my temper about office politics because I want a title and some respect for the time I've put into this department.