RMB

How am I unique? I have had an experience in which my "Towers fell". I was saved from a rigid background. For a time I gloriously enjoyed that freedom. The church I was a part of seemed to have so much more freedom than I had ever known. I did not realize it, but this church also had its strict, rigid "doctrines" and beliefs. The reason I could not see it was because it was so much MORE freedom than what I had previously known. Over the years I became a very "useful" person in the church: I perfomed every duty, took part in every ministry from cleaning toilets to handling finances. I was always a student of the Word, and a worshipper. I just had some big blind spots. While I was secretary in this church, some things came to my attention that did not fit in with what the Bible teaches as integrity. So I confronted, at which point I was no longer "useful". My towers crashed, over a long story of circumstances and experiences. I isolated myself. I, who was always considered to be the "pillart of the assembly", now became absent. I left, I stayed home, I turned to other sources for my study of the Bible, etc. I never left GOD, I just left the CHURCH. I am in an in-between period right now, where I may be in preparation for some future ministry--or not. I can't see the future, and at this point, I am not sure that I want to. My whole idea of CHURCH has died. All the visions and dreams I had are gone. I have been knocked off my horse and am laying blind on the ground. BUT I am not alone. Jesus has come to me in my time of despair and loneliness and He has begun to lift me up and show me my unique value to Him. I feel that I have thoroughly experienced the lesson of the Galatians: do not, once saved by grace, fall back on works (no matter how "spiritual) those works may be) to keep myself on the spiritual walk. I am free. But, gulp, unable to dance in that freedom because I suffer from the fear that I will fall into it again. How will I know it is really Jesus speaking to me and guiding me? I have been deceived before, I am not beyond being deceived again. I am praying my way through this bible study, hoping to find some answers and some assurance.

Continuing above thought...this is the very reason why I chose to study the Book of Galatians. The Galatians made the mistake I seem to have made...going back to "works" and "performance" once saved. The question "How do I know something, i.e. Paul's message is true?" is the point I am struggling with. Not with Paul, but with the teachings and traditions of the church.

A false teaching can start as a tiny deviation from the truth. Consider a straight vertical line as Truth. One can come along and begin to draw another line from its base, just a fraction of a degree to the left or right of vertical. As the line continues, the variation is scarcely discernable, but as time goes on and the new line is drawn out straight from where it was begun, the gap between the two lines becomes wider. The people in Galatians had followed a false line until the gap was clear. They were now depending upon their works, rather than the Grace of God, to keep them. How did this happen? A little at a time! Just so, it happened in my life that I was gloriously saved and set free from doctrine and works as the means of my salvation...but then a gradual deviation occurred that led me into the hamster wheel of performance all over again, just like the Galatians. After the realization came a crash all around me of the pieces of religious structure that had been built. There came a time of total withdrawal from all things "church" as I journeyed back to the beginning of that false line. I had come from one system of "works" and gone into another, believing strongly that I was on the right track. It is so easy to become deceived. It is so easy to believe smooth talkers who say, "The Lord showed me..." or "The Lord told me..." I have had a severe shaking to the whole structure, and at this point in my life I am extremely cautious about teachings and doctrines, to the point of isolating myself from them. So I am working through this question, "How do we know it's true?" having seen how easy it is to deviate from the straight line.

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall never be shaken. --Psalm 62:1-2 He saved me by GRACE through faith and He keeps me by GRACE through faith.

Jesus is my Rescuer. It is by His atoning, substitutionary shedding of His Blood, that I am rescued. It is by GRACE through FAITH. Just as I was rescued some forty years ago by believing on what He did and by GRACE receiving my salvation and freedom, it is also BY GRACE that I am kept. I am powerless to save myself, and I am also powerless to keep myself from falling back once I am set free. It is Grace -- GIFT -- to be in Christ, and to remain in Christ. The enemy, the world, circumstances, sickness, poverty, etc. have certainly robbed me of much. BUT God has graced me with FAR MORE than the enemy has taken. I was rescued from a rigid religious system when I believed and received Christ. But over the years, I slipped back into performance based religious works as my way of pleasing God and walking with Him. Suddenly that way of life came screeching to a halt through family tragedy, spiritual abuse and abandonment. Over a period of time the Lord is bringing the truth of Galatians to LIFE in me--saved by faith/kept by faith. It is Christ in me the Hope of Glory. My part is to keep my spiritual eyes and ears open to Him, open every spiritual door and window that He may come in. He has filled me with so much more than the enemy has taken away.