Pastor Ralph Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabi Posted February 19, 2011 Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? 1.Because they are afraid that their Membership will reduce, -That the members will not Paid tithe again. -That the people are not going to see him as the right Man from God. 2.The leader face difficulties in Handling His Work as a Shepherd. 3.It is strengthen your desire towards God,It make you Grow Spiritually,You came Closer to the Word of God. 4.we sin, Iniquity becomes our portion ,We destroy the Church Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvoryEagle Posted February 19, 2011 Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? In the age of "popularity" and labels put on by the world, many leaders are afraid of losing ground in the eyes of people. They love the positive power! To confront a negative in their domain is to admit inadequacy. Confrontation and rebuke is ALWAYS a good thing because it reinforces why the popularity and the labels were assessed in the first place. Instead of being seen as a coward, they are seen as an informed, "no-nonsense" leader. When we refuse to confront as we should, our greatest fears are realized. The lost of respect for the leader, and more importantly, a delay or re-direction of God's Plan. This is closely related to Job when he said: "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me." Job 3:25 The rumors are worse than the rebuke. True leadership is NEVER threatened by authentic action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cogickaaro Posted February 19, 2011 Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Some church leaders are more concerned with keeping their members appeased and happy. Confrontation brings the players and the issue face-to-face in order to bring about a solution/resolution. In so doing, leaders face possible rejection, ridicule and negative opinions from those who do not agree, or from those who cannot accept the openness of confrontation. Church leaders have to contend with various people having a wide range of characters. This in itself is a great task. Rebuke and confrontation can be a good thing when it reveals the truth and possible sin that may have otherwise been overlooked. It can then correct and heal a situation that could continue or worsen if left unattended. In conclusion, confrontation can be a good thing when it exposes sin, corrects and heals. The result of refusing to confront when necessary is allowing the problem or issue to grow and/or worsen. This also allows individuals participating in the problem to take a winning stance and the problem/issue overtake the good of the environment, and the result can be overwhelmingly negative to everyone. The situation is then totally out of control, and is able to continue if not confronted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyinBelize Posted February 19, 2011 Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 True leadership is NEVER threatened by authentic action. Thank Ivory Eagle...that's something to chew on... Thanks Pastor Ralph for pointing out that the "people pleasing" personsality that may be a component of maintaining popular leadership...that this style of leadership can weaken our will to obey God's call. Thanks for the challenge to follow Jesus and Paul's model of gentle confrontation. Just for balance I want to present the flip side: there are others in the church who confront too often. It bothers them when things don't go the way they visualize, or people don't do what they think is "right". These folks are strong-willed and confident. They know the answers and think others should think exactly the same way they do because their conclusions are obviously right and Biblical (to them.) Sometimes I don't confront because I am wary of this ego-centric point of view and want to be open, less demanding, sensitive to various perspectives. I could confront more. I think leaders need to "choose the cross they will die on" and not be too confrontative. So I have to balance confronting a"wrong" with gentleness and speaking the truth in love. Some Biblical support for this is found in: 2 Tim. 2:23 (stay away from foolish arguments, leaders should not be quarrelsome) Hebrews 12:14 "strive for peace with everyone" Titus 2;1-2 (spirit of gentleness) Galatians 5:22 (The fruit of the spirit is : love, joy peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness...) Lastly regarding confrontation... there is a time for everything and every purpose under Heaven. Maintaining the balance and listening to when the season is right, is the key, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iam4_1god Posted February 20, 2011 Report Share Posted February 20, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Some leaders are afraid to confront others about problems. The leader doesn't want arguments or rebellion. The leader is afraid to deal with the issue at hand. Leader is afraid person will want to get violent, or at least, very verbal. Other people might want to get involved, and be just as verbal or violent. Also, leader is afraid of loosing respect and obedience of person/people. Some people welcome being rebuked. They want to know if they're in the wrong. The problem gets taken care of, and life is good. Everybody is happy. Not addressing the problem just permits the problem to continue. Nothing is solved, and it serves to affect the whole groug, sooner or later. Failure is imminent! Churches split up-companies close the doors because of lost revenue, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramon Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Answer: 1 Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? They don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvoryEagle Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? The reason it is so difficult is in many cases, confrontation is not unfounded. It is often a collision of egos. Many church leaders are preserving what belongs to the Holy Spirit for themselves. They are ashamed to admit that the confrontation is unfounded so they manufacture a confrontation and enlist the power of others in their personal battle. They fear being found out and humiliated when questioned." For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me.." Job 3:25. Remember Haman and Mordecai in the book of Esther? He is executed, and Mordecai is raised by the king. This was Haman's greatest fear; Mordecai would not bow down to him because he was not worth bowing down to. Using his influence with the King, he sought to destroy not only Mordecai but all of his people. He did not know that "God ALWAYS win!" Had Haman's concern been legitimate; he could have been honest with the King. Confrontation and rebuke is good because only then does the total truth come out. When we refuse to confront as we should; God has to step in........Woe be to the coward who would not confront or worse, to the one who had three agendas: God's, the leader, and mostly his own. "1 So the king and Haman went to dine with Queen Esther." Esther 7:1 They often escape the discovery of the leader but not an omnipresent God. Praise God! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion of Grace Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 It is difficult for church leaders to confront (and particularly in this day and age) because they fear loosing people. Church today seems to be about a "menu" for people. Please them, give them what they want so they "feel good" and they'll stay to be the church and help with the church. There is a false sense of what "love" is in this. But confront congregations or teach them to take up their cross or follow God's commands and watch the popularity drop, the numbers go down and your help to decrease! It's a "feel good, professional, instant gratification, post modern thinking" world and it's seeped into the church! When a church is guided by secular thinking, we'll get secular results. If leadership is guided by the Spirit and Kingdom thinking, then God does the work in hearts and some might go, but many will be grown if even out of a small remnant that remains. But....the foundation is good and it will stand. To often, leadership themselves measure "success" by a worldly standard and become discouraged and turn to worldly ways to "correct" the problem. They only go more deeply down a wrong path and lead much of the church with them! Confrontation and rebuke are good things, because in a humble person, they help us examine our own hearts. Sometimes as we do look at ourselves, we see an area that is a problem we need to repent from and seek God to change in that. But also, sometimes we are strengthened too when we seek God and find our ability to stand in Him when we know the accusation is false. Either way, to never confront or rebuke means to never have resolution or correction or assurance. Then we stay in ignorance or denial or false guilt and that is only chaos, frustration and non productive. That's the results if we refuse to confront when we should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastor neal Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 In addition the the examples supplied I can think of other reasons why church-leaders find it difficult with confrontation and rebukes. There are those involved in the church that experience intimidation by older members as-well-as those who have the means to leave large sums of money upon their death. Secondly, they lack the trust and faith that God will allow their congregation to grow, fearing that instead of strenghting their church they might lose members! When the fear to confront and/or rebuke individuals the foundation of the infrastruction is weakened. It allows others to do as they deem necessary, mayhaps with only their benefit in mind. After so long of inadequate, strong and proper leadership there could be a downfall in the church and contempt for the church-leaders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guitar Jim Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? Confrontation carries with it all sorts of ramifications. There are also plenty of doubts that beset the person who needs to confront someone . . . What if I can't get my point across? What if they have a good rebuttal and I'm left looking foolish? Then there is the possibility of becoming unpopular with the majority of parishioners if the person in need of confrontation is popular with the congregation. What if the person is a personal friend and you could risk losing that friendship? What fears in this regard does a leader face? See above. How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? If the person you confront is a mature person spiritually the rebuke will only help make them wiser. A truly wise mature person should be able to take a rebuke in the spirit in which it is intended. We're told in Scripture not to rebuke an older man but to treat him as you would a father. What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? More often than not the person in the wrong will continue to do wrong and the situation will become that much worse the longer it's left unresolved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travis63 Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? There are countless reasons, each situation differs because each circumstance is different. Any response that I could share will probably already have been shared, they maybe true but they are not the truth, mainly because the shared responses are not all inclusive. Each opportunity to confront people (not just church house members) have their own merit. Having so the difficulty with confronting the person will vary. Saved or unsaved the degree of difficulty will vary as well. There will be times when it maybe less difficult because the leader is passionate about something. There maybe times when the difficulty level maybe higher because of the sensitivity of the nature or the church leaders familiarity or experience level. What fears in this regard does a leader face? That will depend on the issue, it could be the desire to be like; the comfort level in facing confrontation; exposed weakness; truth as to how the leader may stand / their view of a particular issue; if within the church house is could be added to this list possible lost of allegiance or membership (unfortunately many people attend the church house because they like the leader, programs or location. Again the fears will / can be countless, they may stem from the reasons for the difficulty of the issue(s) to confront. How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? It can and will be good every time it (the confrontation & rebuke) is Spirit Lead! If it is of God and not of the leaders feelings the fruit from the rebuke will have a godly result. That does not always mean favorable in our eyes, but nonetheless it will be according to the Will of God. Thereby the end result will manifest for His good. When it is not Spirit lead, but is done according to the leaders spirit leading there is a strong probability that the results will be ill. Regardless if the issue is a minute issue or an issue in great stature if done from feelings alone there is great danger (in my opinion). Confrontation and rebuke needs to occur, the example of parenting you gave in the lesson is a good one. Confrontation and rebuke is needed without it danger lurks, I believe best results come from being Spirit lead. Even outside the Body of Christ the best result transpire when the confrontation and rebuke (counsel) did not derive from an emotional outburst. What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Continuance of the issue, the fruits are countless, here are a few but definitely not exhaustive: possible degeneration vise regeneration; discord / division; effectiveness of leadership / guidance; separation; progressive disobedience; dysfunction; chaos; dissatisfaction, stagnation; non- productivity, etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granmere Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 I believe that the words: Confront and Rebuke are harsh words!! Leaders need to be taught HOW to address issues that need to be dealt. One can be assertive without being cruel.. A good leader would offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, alternatives to the inappropriate behavior need to be presented. Our rector is gentle but firm... He informs himself of all the facts prior to meeting with the person. He is a mediator, not a dictator!! Our congregation has grown.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindycHope Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 We are more fragile than we care to see and admit. Confronting others makes us uneasy. We are afraid of alienating that person we need to confront. We are afraid of losing a relationship. I don't think it has much to do with money or tithes. I think it has to do with hearts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? I would say it's "fear of man". If the leader is building a kingdom rather than looking out for and tending the sheep entrusted to his care, he/she can be easily intimidated, and unwilling to confront evil, sin in the camp, factions, etc. due to insecurity. It can also be ignorance or naivete. As in Moses situation, it may be unexpected opposition, so the leader is unprepared or shocked into inertia. It takes more than Love to shepherd. It takes wisdom, discernment, and courage to confront sin and the demonic realm which is always threatening to intimidate and destroy the church. What fears in this regard does a leader face? The common ones everyone faces with the" fear of man": fear of rejection, criticism, hurting people, gossip. In addition, for a Pastor: Losing church members, tithes being withheld, being seen as unloving or as a bully or even losing their job as Pastor. How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? Jesus said "A little leaven leavens the whole loaf".(I Cor 5:6) If a Pastor knows that couples are living together, having children outside of marriage, and any manner of sin while active members of the church, it will seem "acceptable" and continue to spread. Correction or gentle rebuke will not only chasten but hopefully turn the known offenders from sin, while protecting those observers who may follow the bad example. I Tim.5:20. Paul said to remove the unrepentant from the church. This may be necessary for a Pastor to do, as my Pastor just did with an elder who was found to be having an adulterous relationship, and who believed it was God's will for him to leave his wife and live with this young woman. He refused to repent, and was removed from leadership and the church. It was handled in a very beautiful way, if you can say that about an ugly situation. When it had been dealt with privately with the man, it was dealt with publicly, without all of the gory details. Very teachable moment, and helpful training for the church. We're praying for the man and woman to turn from their sin. We all sin and fall short of God's glory. We all need correction along the way. A rebuke may turn a life around. When I learned that "We war not with flesh and blood but with powers and principalities", I learned that it is futile and even silly to argue and to try to "win" or be right! The demonic realm responds only to a rebuke with the Sword of the Spirit...God's Word. What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Since we do war with powers and principalities, the demonic realm gains a stronger and stronger foothold in the church, workplace, home, etc. The one being intimidated, grows weaker and more and more fearful and impotent. Sheep unprotected will be devoured~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PASTOR D Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Often times people have gone through, or, may yet be in difficult situations that have supported their decisions to join church. Many times, for fear of resurrecting these situations leaders are reluctant to confront people. . . Confrontation and rebuke can be a good thing when it brings to light the situations and helps us to recognize and correct the problems. . . When we refuse to confront people when necessary it inhibits or impedes their ability to face situations and make the necessary improvements. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csreeves Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? I had a pastor who treated me badly and I couldn't understand it. I was indeed angry and down right ugly. I couldn't understand why she couldn't have come to me and asked me to sit out of the choir for awhile rather she didn't tell me she caused some else to humilate me by raising his voice with me. Looking back now I can see maybe she didn't like to be upfront with leaders within the church. She was quite articulate the next day. It was a strange situation since if I have a problem with someone I go to the person and sit down and talk to them. I think this is why people leave the church today. I chose not to let it carry me away, but boy was it tempting. I felt God wanted to test me to see if I would stand up for him or was I going to run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonna Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Before any confrontation, the truth must be proven not gossip. If confrontation is required then it must be done after much prayer and with love. When Jesus confronted he did so in love. Church Leaders are afraid of losing people, income, sometimes it comes into play that they may lose one of their largest supporters. So money and ego come into play. How many times have churches overlooked someone's behavior because "their family started this congregation" or "their family is our largest financial supporter". I believe in the word of God that if someone is in sin they should be talked to by the leaders of the church. If done with love and with God's guidance it can be positive for all concerned. When we refuse to confront when we should, it shows us to be weak, to be more concerned with image than with truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serge Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 I BELIEVE THAT WHEN WE FEAR PEOPLE MORE THAN GOD WE LOOSE THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT SIN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charisbarak Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Some church leaders fear man more than God. Some fears they may face are loss of membership & $'s, that some would not like them anymore. Confrontation & rebuke are necessary for growth. It purifies the congregation & may even help others if they are tempted in those same areas the others have earned rebuking. If we refuse to rebuke or confront we open the door to impurity & immaturity in the body, and undisciplined lives--lawlessness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvoryEagle Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? I would say it's "fear of man". If the leader is building a kingdom rather than looking out for and tending the sheep entrusted to his care, he/she can be easily intimidated, and unwilling to confront evil, sin in the camp, factions, etc. due to insecurity. It can also be ignorance or naivete. As in Moses situation, it may be unexpected opposition, so the leader is unprepared or shocked into inertia. It takes more than Love to shepherd. It takes wisdom, discernment, and courage to confront sin and the demonic realm which is always threatening to intimidate and destroy the church. What fears in this regard does a leader face? The common ones everyone faces with the" fear of man": fear of rejection, criticism, hurting people, gossip. In addition, for a Pastor: Losing church members, tithes being withheld, being seen as unloving or as a bully or even losing their job as Pastor. How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? Jesus said "A little leaven leavens the whole loaf".(I Cor 5:6) If a Pastor knows that couples are living together, having children outside of marriage, and any manner of sin while active members of the church, it will seem "acceptable" and continue to spread. Correction or gentle rebuke will not only chasten but hopefully turn the known offenders from sin, while protecting those observers who may follow the bad example. I Tim.5:20. Paul said to remove the unrepentant from the church. This may be necessary for a Pastor to do, as my Pastor just did with an elder who was found to be having an adulterous relationship, and who believed it was God's will for him to leave his wife and live with this young woman. He refused to repent, and was removed from leadership and the church. It was handled in a very beautiful way, if you can say that about an ugly situation. When it had been dealt with privately with the man, it was dealt with publicly, without all of the gory details. Very teachable moment, and helpful training for the church. We're praying for the man and woman to turn from their sin. We all sin and fall short of God's glory. We all need correction along the way. A rebuke may turn a life around. When I learned that "We war not with flesh and blood but with powers and principalities", I learned that it is futile and even silly to argue and to try to "win" or be right! The demonic realm responds only to a rebuke with the Sword of the Spirit...God's Word. What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Since we do war with powers and principalities, the demonic realm gains a stronger and stronger foothold in the church, workplace, home, etc. The one being intimidated, grows weaker and more and more fearful and impotent. Sheep unprotected will be devoured~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvoryEagle Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Well thought out and extremely well said. Touche' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Genaro Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Leaders fear to confront the church for hurting them that will cause to be discouraged. Fear that they might have a heated discussion that mar their relationship to each other. Confrontation is good because they will have a mutual expression of idea which will bring a good result. There will be a friction between leaders and members which result to lukewarmness in the church. gener Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkerslope Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Q2. Why is it so difficult for some church leaders to confront people? What fears in this regard does a leader face? How can confrontation and rebuke be a good thing? What happens when we refuse to confront when we should? Every church leader does not have all the abilities that "Great Leaders" have. Some of us seem to fear what the result of the confrontation will climax with. As we put more and more trust in God, we will be able to confront people who need discipline. I can look back over my life and see many times that I should have confronted someone and didn't because either I did not recognize the situation or fear what it may do to the congregation. We fear what the one who is confronted will say or do and what the congregation will hear about it. I believe that we have a strong feeling for our own reputation that might be smeared. Paul the apostle, told Timothy that he should rebuke those who were working contrary to the scriptures. We must keep the faith pure, as the Bible tells us. Too many times I have heard people mis-quote the Bible for their own good. We must follow the Bible, not have the "Bible" follow us. When we do not confront a problem, it will get bigger and polute the congregation. Evil does not "just go away". We have to face it and work at destroying it for the sake of truth. All people have tendencies to want their own way and not follow what the Bible says. Therefore we need to help each other to keep on the "right road" of everlasting truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddyboy Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 The church is one body in Christ. This body is divided among its members which has many roles of duties. Each has a deferent function within the church. Harmony in the church is what makes everything work in unison. If one part gets out of balance then the whole church feels the effect. When this happens then it is the leaders responsibility to confront the problem. The leader may then become reluctant to approach the problem in fear that it possibly my result in a brake up or division within the church. To let such things go unchecked will only bring further dissensions. The leader is to be intrepid yet have a loving spirit when confronting the issue at hand. Once the issue is addressed the church will be able to move forward in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord as well as the whole congregation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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