Q3. Church Discipline and Congregational Health

[Krissi]

On 6/26/2015 at 12:43 AM, lighthouse2014 said:

... Once the offense was brought out into the open, it seems to have almost ship wrecked the whole church. An approach of love, understanding  and forgiveness by the fellow believers, repentance and counseling of the accused, would have been a good course of action. It appeared to be the first offense for either party involved. The elders, leaders and congregation did not reach out with forgiveness or love, but with gossip, rumors and condemnation.

Mr. LIghthouse, above, wrote a sad but instructive story. I watched a similar story evolve in a church I attended many years ago. A man who had had multiple affairs while traveling for his work had a child-obsessed wife who made no effort to grow as a person and was always clamoring for more ... a bigger house ... a second house ... stainless steel kitchen ... fancy cars, etc. In the end, knowledge of his multiple affairs grew too wide and undeniable for the church to ignore. He was brought up for church discipline at the same time his dull and dowdy wife was lauded as the perfect homemaker. He left the church and left the faith. Obviously, such affairs are sinful, but there was no charity or attempt on the part of the church to understand his circumstances. The church lost a man they could have gently shepherded back into the fold. Also, the church gained a woman whose blatant materialism and shallow outlook was ignored.

I don't think church discipline works in dysfunctional congregations but only in those that are functional. Those who would benefit most from discipline seem not to get it, and when applied, it's blind to some sins while amplifying others. In theory, it's great but in practice it's less than effective. Perhaps in smaller, more love-filled congregations in which people know each other by more than name, discipline would work, but it would be informal, as would happen when one is concerned about another. A formal approach in a cold, large congregation is a recipe for disaster.

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Dysfunctional congregations rarely repair. Perhaps in some cases they do, but in my experience, dysfunctional congregations limp around for years, never quite gaining solid footing and then merge or die. It would be best, then, if the congregants in a congregation who disagree with the focus and morals of the congregation simply vote with their feet and leave. Starting a new congregation with new values and new voices would be much better, in the end, than trying to salvage a damaged church.

I know that the working presumption on this site is that all churches must be saved ... but why? Why not let a church splinter into several subgroups, each starting their own little church. This may sound a bit Darwinian, but is not it a good thing when a dysfunctional church slowly withers and dies? Isn't it good to watch spiritually strong individuals go off to start a church?

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What would an approach of love look like? It would look like a functional congregation, not a dysfunctional one.