John Weir Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Although she is not weaker spiritually, she is weaker physically and more vulnerable. She also has a shorter life span. She is to be treated with wisdom and respect. Treating someone with respect, just as Jesus did with sinners, is part of showing love. It indicates that you accept that all people are God's children and are created in His image. Because God loves them we are called to love them too. I don't understand this question as it does not demonstrate 'self-interest' but an objective interest in others. It is good to have 'self-love' but more important to have an outgoing love for others. Insecure wives try to dominate their husbands. Often through fear of losing them. It causes mis-trust and a dysfunctional relationship. God doesn't want us to be 'dominating' in any way, but calls us to be humble. Being 'dominating' is akin to 'oppression' and this is not what Jesus taught. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gann Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? A man is suppose to be the head of the house which means he is to see to it that everyone is taking care of and is well provided for. He should look at his wife as the weaker vessel in a sense that she is his glory and not his slave. With this understanding he will respect her and treat her as so. In what way does this demonstrate love? God looks at us as a way for others to see His glory therefore He pours out His love and blessings on us so that we can shine. This is also the same with a man's wife for if a man treats his wife with respect and love others can see what can of man he is. For the Bible say that a man should a wife as he does his own body for no one hates his self . In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? When we realize that people look at the whole family and not just at one person then we understand that the best way to help ourself is to respect our family. Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Men like to feel superior so because of this they want to dominate the wife to look big to others. Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? I think that sometimes wives feel threatened by the husbands ego and tries to show that she has just as much right as he does to be in charge. What harm does this do? This destroys their relationship and also it shows all others that there is a problem at home. It also destroys any light of Christ that they may have had. How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? The Lord says in His word that we should treat everyone equal and to always prefer our brother before our self. It never says for us to be dominate over others so therefore when we are trying to dominate others we are going against God's word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? We are to love our wives in a Christian manner, demonstrating the love of Jesus in our marriage. As husbands we must love and respect our wives in harmony with God's Word. This means being considerate and understanding, putting her interests before ours. It is very easy for us to dominate the marriage because we are mostly the income earner and also stronger physically. This is all wrong, she is our equal partner in life and deserves to be treated with the respect she deserves. God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
royk Posted December 1, 2010 Report Share Posted December 1, 2010 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? There is no humility in domination, it is pure manipulation. How can a person learn to go to God with their trials, if we insist on helping them and manipulating them? Domination is a sign that ego is out of control. Humbly letting a friend or spouse solve their own problem, unless they ask for help, is one of the steps on St Benedict's "Ladder of Humility" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Jerry Posted June 2, 2011 Report Share Posted June 2, 2011 A husband should relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom because they are just as knowledgeable and as wise as they are. They way that this demonstrates love is that it shows that they respect them as a person and as a wife. This demonstrates self-interest because you know that you have a partner that you can trust to make the right decisions. I suppose that some men try to dominate their wives because they want to feel superior and the same is true with wives that they to dominate their husbands. The harm is that they don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Because it is from God's word mainly, then because he loves and want to care for her feeling and respect her thoughts and ideas. It demonstrates love in that it is sharing with her respecting her cares and needs. It demonstrates self-interest in that it takes pride and owner-ship out of the picture there can be no boss in marriage.Some men feel a need to be in charge and they tend to do this more at home wanting to be ruler instead of leading out of love.Wives sometime want to dominate when they feel repressed and need to be heard. The harm is that it cause fights and arguments that lead in some cases to broken homes and divorce which is against God's desire for family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guitar Jim Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? Because it's the right thing to do. A husband should be considerate of his wife's feelings and understand that she's the weaker party. Having said that, many women are the truly strong partner in a marriage. Each has their part to play in a good marriage. In what way does this demonstrate love? If you love someone you'll consider their feelings and not deliberately set out to hurt or humiliate the other party. In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Well, it's a lot better to live in a home where there is harmony between husband and wife than it is to live in a home where there is constant discord and disagreement over who's the boss. It is in the best interest of a husband to work towards a harmonious marriage. If that requires give and take, then be prepared to give and take. Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Despite any words to the contrary, men who dominate their wives do so out of an insecurity complex. They don't feel in control of their lives so they dominate their wives. That's very common. Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? That's a tricky one, analyzing the female mind. I'm thinking that some women have an image of what their perfect life should be like. They think that by saying out loud the things that they want to happen often enough, then eventually they WILL happen. That's called nagging. My ex-wife used to say that she didn't nag . . . She just said the same things over and over so they'd sink in. The sad thing was, she believed that. What harm does this do? You're kidding, right? No man can take a lifetime of nagging and attempted control without growing contemptuous of his wife. In the same way, no wife can take constant control over her by a dominating husband. How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? We're studying the Biblical model for a good marriage right here. If we go about our marriage in a domineering control freak way, then we're not obeying God's instructions given to us in this passage. A good friend of mine had all sorts of trouble with his control freak wife. She had the ear of their pastor's wife and eventually they went to the pastor for counseling, agreeing to place themselves under the authority of the church by way of abiding by the pastor's decisions. The result of the counseling was that my friend was the one with all the work to do. He had to win his wife's love by submitting to her. He told me what the pastor told him and I immediately opened my Bible and showed him this passage we're studying. I told him to get out of that church ASAP. The pastor's wife didn't attend church much. They themselves were having huge marital problems. How dare he then place himself in authority over someone else's marriage problems! The correct thing to do was to convince my friend's wife that she needed to submit to him and that he needed to respect her feelings. As it was, the very opposite was prescribed and they ended up divorced. Why didn't I talk to her? She despised me for no other reason than that I was my friend's confidant. I'd take him to musical events like jam sessions to get him out and let him enjoy himself and even on the way TO the venues, she'd be phoning him wanting to know when he'd be coming home. If she knew when I was coming to pick him up, she'd start an argument with him to give her the excuse to storm out and leave him to look after the kids so he couldn't go out. She'd never had a job in her life and Ed made a lot of money, enough to let them live very well. She was afraid to let him go out in case another woman snared him and he'd end up leaving her. There's that insecurity thing right there. Far better to make herself into the kind of person he can't wait to come home to than to try and ruin his time away from her by being a control freak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifee Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Peter is addressing fact that women are i/physically weaker,more vulnerable to attack and ii/are equal spiritually as joint heirs before God and of promises for the future,He had learnt from Jesus how to show women repect and honour. b)Without wisdom and knowledge we act on pure emotion. From the Word-Taking care of,building up, encouraging and showing respect for their wives is how men can demonstrate love. c)By men loving their wives, this affirmation, feeling respected and builds their self-worth&allows wives to love husbands even more naturally by what they do and say to encourage them. d)&E) Domination is self-interest not of God.if egotistical are thinking of self, rather than Jesus asks to “love one another as I have loved you” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Posted July 26, 2013 Report Share Posted July 26, 2013 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? First a husband should relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom to honor God and then to honor his wife. A knowledge and wisdom that places his wife before himself and her well-being before his well-being. This demonstrates love because that is what love is all about unselfishly placing the well-being of others before ourselves. Men sometimes try to dominate their wives out of selfishness -- they want their own way. This behavior dishonors God, dishonors wives; and destroys relationships. God's nature is about love and the well-being of His creation. When we don't operate this way we are living contrary to God's nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
van Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? HUSBAND'S SHOULD BE CONSIDERING TO THEIR WIVES, LOVING, GENTLE, COMMITTED AN TRUSTWORTHY. HE OR SHE WANTS THE PERSON TO BE UNDERNEATH THEM SO THEY CAN CONTROLL THAT PERSON LIFE. THAT'S E A USE THEIR IS A HIGH DIVORCE RATE IN THE USA. GOD GAVE US OUR OWN ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO CONT AND THINK FOR OURSELVES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_Applegarth Posted May 30, 2016 Report Share Posted May 30, 2016 Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Husbands and wives should relate equally to one another because they are “heirs together of the grace of life”; if they don’t, Peter says that their prayers will carry the burdens of an unsettled mind. When two people commit to one another before God their love will be established by the mutual giving and receiving of respect. The best gift any man can give to his wife is to love and respect her and let her flourish. Love is respecting and valuing her opinion, trusting in her wisdom and judgment and valuing her as a person. She should be valued for who, not what she is and she should never be looked upon as one of your earthly possessions. Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Dominance is exerting power or influence over others. Whether an inherited or learned trait, men always seem to be seeking power and/or exerting authority over others. In a marriage, the man always seems to be sending the message that it’s he who wears the pants in the family and to me, that’s shows insecurity, weakness and ego. Marital insecurity is a two-sided coin though and the reasons are varied. Insecure women might feel secure by controlling every aspect of the family including controlling her husband. Man or woman, attempting to dominate one’s spouse is detrimental to the relationship between a husband and wife. In order to maintain balance in a marriage, both partners must work toward equality in the marriage. Men and women are equal in that we are both created in God’s image so we are all endowed by the Creator with spiritual equality. In Genesis 1:27 it’s written, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Previous to that in verse 26 it’s written, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celtic Wanderer Posted November 19, 2016 Report Share Posted November 19, 2016 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? As a woman she is weaker physically and perhaps emotionally. God wants husbands to understand their wives and to relate to them out of wisdom. To love them considerately and respectfully. Jesus treated women with wonderful respect and honour. In what way does this demonstrate love? Love is putting another’s needs above our own and to seek their highest good. In what way does this demonstrate self‐interest? Self interest in the sense that she will be blessed and respond with gratitude. To love one’s wife with knowledge and respect is in her interest. Someone said “do yourself a favour and love your wife!” Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Because they are insecure in themselves, or just plain ornery. It makes them feel as though they are important. Really it just makes them a bully Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? Women feel they need to fight for control because they are not loved and respected. Perhaps it is also a product of “the fall” and the order that God designed is continuously threatened by the enemy and aided by our fallen nature. What harm does this do? It disrupts the order that God intended and make life unpleasant. If we let people fulfil the roles that they are called to by cooperating while mutually respecting one another we will be happy and blessed. How is domination of another person contrary to God’s nature? This is interesting - God is all powerful and fearsome. Yet He has a heart of compassion and mercy that is grieved by the sinfulness of mankind. However, He does not dominate us, by rather invites us to come to him in faith, to love Him and voluntarily obey Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Olamiji Taiwo Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 On 3/5/2004 at 5:51 AM, Pastor Ralph said: Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Husband should relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom because of their nature as weaker partner. Its demonstrated love in terms of respecting and honours her as equal. Men sometimes try to dominate their wives to boost their ego as head of the house. Wives also do so to claim respect and honour from their husbands. The act of dominating of another person contrary to God's nature because we are all equal before Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted June 20, 2017 Report Share Posted June 20, 2017 On 3/4/2004 at 9:51 PM, Pastor Ralph said: Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? 1. He "should" because that is what the Lord has instructed husbands to do. Women are called the weaker sex because we don't have the physical strength and stamina that men have been gifted with, because we have been given different roles in the family. Women have been instructed to respect their husbands while husbands have been instructed to love their wives, as Christ loves His bride the church, laying down His life in sacrifice for her. I believe the "knowledge and wisdom" spoken of are the Lords means of softening husbands in their treatment of their wives...getting to know her emotionally and spiritually, not just sexually. This involves depending upon the Lord for this behavior because this is not typical in men's nature. Women are created in His image in that we long to "be known" and we spend much time sharing and relating with friends, forming deep relationships, but the main one we desire that kind of relationship with is our husband. It involves patiently listening, and relating in gentleness rather than demanding submission, or "caveman" domination. The kind and gentle and understanding "strategy" results in the wife respecting her mate and love blossoms in that kind of relationship, because of the bond of trust established from the time invested in "getting to know" his wife. Besides providing leadership and provision, this is how he demonstrates that he loves her. Women are gifted with relationship building skills of a deeper nature than that of men. 2. The self interest is manifested in "knowing what is good for him" in terms of how his wife will respond to his tenderness and demonstrated interest in "knowing her" in the way that meets her emotional and spiritual needs. He in turn earns her respect and her willingness to meet his sexual needs. 3. I think men instinctively want to dominate other men and women. It's the testosterone I think. "Just get the job done" and conquer, rather than allowing the Lord to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit of "Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Perseverance and Self Control." Those are the character qualities of Jesus to which we all respond, and those are the qualities to which every woman's heart will respond when demonstrated by her husband. (and visa versa) 4 & 5. Rebellion against God was the first sin in the garden producing the fallen nature. God said to Eve..".your desire and craving will be for your husband and he will rule over you." That I believe is the set-up for her wanting to dominate. That's why we are instructed to "fit in" with our husbands plans, give input as his helpmeet, but leave the outcome of his decisions to the Lord. When wives are submitted first to the Lord, the desire to dominate our husbands is quenched because we desire to please the Lord and to have a harmonious and loving relationship in our marriage and because the Lord is ultimately our husband and we trust Him for our well being. Also, if the husband is not submitted to the Lord, he may try to "rule over his wife" with harsh demands and even bullying or intimidation, which kills the spirit of the woman and ultimately any chance of a long and loving relationship. 6. Domination is not God's will for us....actually in marriage, mutual submission is required, in that the husband is to consider seriously his wife's suggestions, desires and wisdom before making his decisions. We are all on equal ground at the foot of the cross. No one is superior in value to another. Men and women are equal in God's sight as are the different races. In a psychological sense, domination suggests insecurity and low self esteem, anger and impotence....which are all things which the Lord can and will heal if brought to Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Jerry Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 The reason a husband should relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom is because sometimes they are smarter than he is and he should be able to recognize that. They are equal to him spiritually and usually more sensitive to the calling of the Spirit. This demonstrates love in that you know that you can trust her in all things. Because she sees that you do trust her that means that the two of you will be able to use you special abilities together and get the most out of the marriage. I think that men and women sometimes try to dominate their spouses because they are insecure and they have to show them that they are better than they are. This tares the family apart and is against God’s nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Olamiji Taiwo Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 On 3/5/2004 at 5:51 AM, Pastor Ralph said: Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Husband should and must relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom because of their nature as weaker partner. Its demonstrated love in terms of respecting and honouring her as equal. Men sometimes try to dominate their wives to boost their ego as head of the house. Wives also do so to claim respect and honour from their husbands. The act of dominating of another person contrary to God's nature because we are all equal before Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aliya721 Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 On 3/10/2004 at 6:39 PM, djmclaren said: a) Having been married for almost 25 years now, I have come to the startling conclusion that women are incomprehensible. My wife is sometimes exasperated that after all this time I still don't get it. I confess, I don't get it. However, I say that to make the point that God made us this way. I found out that its not just me, it seems all men are like that , women are a mystery, illogical, emotional, mushy and complex (in my humble opinion). My wife complements me, she makes me whole. When God formed Adam he was complete, but God took a part of him and formed woman who when joined back with Adam, would create one entirety again. As I give myself to her and focus upon her I am becoming more sensitive, empathetic and outward focused. Therefore as I relate to my wife with wisdom and knowledge I grow and we grow and become the one entity that God intended us to be. I understand some thing through God's Word in regard to my responsibilities as a husband and I try to walk in that. I attempt to treat my wife who also is God 's precious child in accordance with the pattern laid out in the Word. I have found that every day, every year our love grows and deepens and matures. The Bible states Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" When I lay down my own life for my wife to understand her to draw her in, to deny myself so that she might be built up I believe I am walking the way Jesus would want me. John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." c)I suppose this demonstrates self-interest in that a happy wife make a happy husband. Besides our Father thinks she's pretty special and wants me to watch out how I treat her. d) I'm sure ther's a whole list of reasons why a man would try to dominate his wife and vise-versa. It's sad that they are missing out on what they could have in a mutually sacrificial relationship. Giving one's self to another is not an easy thing to do but the rewards are bountiful. Fear, wounds, distrust, but ultimately it is selfishness that keeps us holding on to ourselves and our interests. We know what to do, if we can't do it for some reason , pray, and pray with your spouse until victory comes, and it will. It is a perversion of God's perfect order in the marriage for one to dominate. The Spirit aligns us in the proper order as we keep our focus on God. We are to serve, not lord it over one another. Matthew 20:25 "...Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them :26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister :28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." It is foolishness to the world to lay down your life, to humble yourself, to take the lower seat and prefer another before yourself. We can't bring that thinking into the Body let alone a marriage. e)The harm caused by the domination of another breaks trust between them and hence fellowship. When one person perceives that they are being manipulated by another for the other's selfish ends, barriers are formed to be on one's guard. If the other will do this in one area, how can we trust them in any area? Especially in important matters of the heart. This will damage a marriage and cut off communication. If one person simply goes along with the other then they are doing the will of that other and not the will of God. God will not be party to the willful manipulation of one over another. In any case the movement of God's Spirit is hindered in that relationship and it is centred in the flesh. f)I think I touched on how the domination of one over another is contrary to God's nature. Philippians 2:7 "... made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men" Jesus is meek and lowly of heart, not domineering and demanding. All of this! As a woman and a wife, I get very sad and discouraged when my husband responds to me with indifference or with the inability to try and understand what I am saying. When he chooses to intentionally have a dialogue then this when we break down walls and can grow in our marriage. When he chooses to stick to his guns, this is when the new me (the one who has been steadily growing since we last separated) applies grace. I have to remember that he is not perfect. Things will not be exactly the way I see them. I have to have hope and put all my faith in God to help me get through it. The old me would have entertained arguing because I had to make him see my sadness and pain. When he responds to me in a Godly way it shows love for me, that he wants to try and protect this union between us. If his sole purpose of responding in that way is so that his prayers aren't hindered then so be it. At that point he is yielding to God. Domination is all about power. I think this could easily be fixed if we changed our tone, our body language, and not thought that when everything is said and done, we are going to get our way. There is significant harm in doing this because we the domineering one develops this pedestal character and begins to see your needs as less important. It is damaging on every level. God did not do this to us. God did not Lord anything over us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? We are to love our wives in a Christian manner, demonstrating the love of Jesus in our marriage. As husbands we must love and respect our wives in harmony with God's Word. This means being considerate and understanding, putting her interests before ours. It is very easy for us to dominate the marriage because we are mostly the income earner and also stronger physically. This is all wrong, she is our equal partner in life and deserves to be treated with the respect she deserves. God’s Word tells us to love our wives and treat her as our equal, (for example, Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinstonY Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Men and women are equal before God. Paul writes in Galatians 3: 29 for you are all one in Christ. When someone is truly loves as an equal then they will be treated with love and respect. Some men just do not know that I want is to be treated with love respect and honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil NRG Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 On 6/20/2017 at 1:10 PM, JanMary said: 1. He "should" because that is what the Lord has instructed husbands to do. Women are called the weaker sex because we don't have the physical strength and stamina that men have been gifted with, because we have been given different roles in the family. Women have been instructed to respect their husbands while husbands have been instructed to love their wives, as Christ loves His bride the church, laying down His life in sacrifice for her. I believe the "knowledge and wisdom" spoken of are the Lords means of softening husbands in their treatment of their wives...getting to know her emotionally and spiritually, not just sexually. This involves depending upon the Lord for this behavior because this is not typical in men's nature. Women are created in His image in that we long to "be known" and we spend much time sharing and relating with friends, forming deep relationships, but the main one we desire that kind of relationship with is our husband. It involves patiently listening, and relating in gentleness rather than demanding submission, or "caveman" domination. The kind and gentle and understanding "strategy" results in the wife respecting her mate and love blossoms in that kind of relationship, because of the bond of trust established from the time invested in "getting to know" his wife. Besides providing leadership and provision, this is how he demonstrates that he loves her. Women are gifted with relationship building skills of a deeper nature than that of men. 2. The self interest is manifested in "knowing what is good for him" in terms of how his wife will respond to his tenderness and demonstrated interest in "knowing her" in the way that meets her emotional and spiritual needs. He in turn earns her respect and her willingness to meet his sexual needs. 3. I think men instinctively want to dominate other men and women. It's the testosterone I think. "Just get the job done" and conquer, rather than allowing the Lord to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit of "Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Perseverance and Self Control." Those are the character qualities of Jesus to which we all respond, and those are the qualities to which every woman's heart will respond when demonstrated by her husband. (and visa versa) 4 & 5. Rebellion against God was the first sin in the garden producing the fallen nature. God said to Eve..".your desire and craving will be for your husband and he will rule over you." That I believe is the set-up for her wanting to dominate. That's why we are instructed to "fit in" with our husbands plans, give input as his helpmeet, but leave the outcome of his decisions to the Lord. When wives are submitted first to the Lord, the desire to dominate our husbands is quenched because we desire to please the Lord and to have a harmonious and loving relationship in our marriage and because the Lord is ultimately our husband and we trust Him for our well being. Also, if the husband is not submitted to the Lord, he may try to "rule over his wife" with harsh demands and even bullying or intimidation, which kills the spirit of the woman and ultimately any chance of a long and loving relationship. 6. Domination is not God's will for us....actually in marriage, mutual submission is required, in that the husband is to consider seriously his wife's suggestions, desires and wisdom before making his decisions. We are all on equal ground at the foot of the cross. No one is superior in value to another. Men and women are equal in God's sight as are the different races. In a psychological sense, domination suggests insecurity and low self esteem, anger and impotence....which are all things which the Lord can and will heal if brought to Him. I like your answers. I sense your passion for Christ and life, having been held closely by Him through a desert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil NRG Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 On 3/5/2004 at 4:51 PM, Pastor Ralph said: Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Knowledge & Wisdom I pray for this and study hard, but more than anything I endeavour to listen to the sweet still voice of the Holy Spirit instructing me through life's situations. O Lord, to gently, lovingly and kindly respond to my wife in all situations, whatever is said or done, however my emotions may run. Lord, protect us from the cunning of the devil; to call on You, as in a moment of crisis, with a deep and earnest desire to respond as You would. I pray for wisdom and increased knowledge of Your Word and of my wife and how she thinks and responds in different circumstances; for we are all different, each one special in Your eyes. Thank You Lord. Demonstrate Love O Lord, that I be a vessel of Your love to my beautiful wife. That I come closer to You, call on You and listen. For You are love and You want each one of us to know of Your love for us individually, as children to a most loving Father. To truly be in Your image as You will for us and we choose to call, listen and follow. That I be like Christ to His church. I know I am a work in progress Lord, but You know that I am an open vessel ready to be moulded by the Potter. Thank You Lord. Demonstrate Self-interest Lord it is not for me that I love devotedly my wife; it is in service and ministry to her desires. Thank You that You meet our every need. Lord Jesus, I know You understand that we are emotional beings. Help us to make right choices when new emotions fly our way; choices that honour our love to You and our wives, not our self-interests, ego or pride. Thank You Lord. Men Dominating Wives Dear Lord, help those that struggle with ego and pride, including me Lord; You know my struggles and thank You for all You have done and are doing in my life. I pray that You make me better able to know how to respond lovingly and gently to my wife in every circumstance. Thank You Lord. Wives Dominating Husbands Lord, help me discern the real reasons for my wife showing dominating behaviour to me. Is it her wanting to be heard, her past hurts life has thrown at her, the desrts we have come through? What is it Lord? Show me, through the sweet quiet voice of Your Holy Spirit and help me to respond how You would want me to. Thank You Lord. Harm from Domination; Contrary to God's Ways Lord, you know the emotions we sometimes go through; death of a loved one, carrying a cross, falsely accused, unfairly treated ... Yes, it is tough sometimes and it's okay to grieve, but it's not okay to act in anger when all my wife is doing is venting her emotions from frustration or hurt; is it not Lord? I am responsible for controlling my emotions and I know if my response is in line with Your ways or not. Help me Lord control my thoughts in response to my emotional reactions. Thank You Lord. Be with us Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blezed Posted June 23, 2017 Report Share Posted June 23, 2017 (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Husband should relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom because (1) women are weaker and (2) women are equal spiritually. Love is demonstrated by the way he protects, helps and respects her. Self-interest is demonstrated by his treatment of the woman which shows his relationship with the Father. Some men interpret the scriptures wrong when it says women are weaker or should be submissive to husband as that they should dominate her. In reality, the relationship is a partnership. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertha Posted June 23, 2017 Report Share Posted June 23, 2017 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? Because without knowledge and wisdom we react. When we react we tend to be led by our emotions, which many times get us into trouble. The Lord says seek wisdom and knowledge for without it his people perish. When husbands use God's wisdom and knowledge, they are being submissive and obedient to God. They will pass on this wisdom into their marriage, and you cannot go wrong when God is the center of your marriage. We are by nature inclined to sin. By nature selfish. That, I believe, is the reason why both men and women want to dominate each other. This is contrary to what God wants from us, which is to be submissive, caring, loving, giving, honoring and considering others before ourselves. Pretty much everything that goes against our human nature. That's why we need the Holy Spirit to help us in all these areas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandtoad Posted June 24, 2017 Report Share Posted June 24, 2017 Relating with knowledge and wisdom is a demonstration of love, unless it is done to show superiority or manipulation which is self-interest. A person tries to dominate because he/she wants power over the other. This very harmful to relationships because control has nothing to do with love & caring, only selfish desires. It destroys relationships because this has nothing to do with love. God is all about loving. He gave us free will & doesn’t try to control us. We have a choice to be a believer and follower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debra Grant Posted June 26, 2017 Report Share Posted June 26, 2017 Q4. (3:7) Why should a husband relate to his wife with knowledge and wisdom? In what way does this demonstrate love? In what way does this demonstrate self-interest? Why do men sometimes try to dominate their wives? Why do wives sometimes try to dominate their husbands? What harm does this do? How is domination of another person contrary to God's nature? 1. They are heirs together. 2. It demonstrates "honor and respect. 3. His prayers will not be hindered. 4. Some husbands seem clueless with regard to their wife's needs. 5. They are not honored and treated with respect. 6. It causes misunderstanding, confusion, and possibly a divorce. 7. All should be treated equal in terms of their standing before God and promises for the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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