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Q26. Flattery


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Oh! But to follow your path in all that I do and say Oh Lord.  Would I flatter the Lord my God in any way?  I truely believe thay the Lord intervines in all aspects of social and business navigations.  I hope and wait on the Spirit; that he will set my word captive before I utter them.  That being said, outside influences will continue to assault the men and woman of faith.  If I am compromising my faith in social situations, just maybe I need to adjust where I am socially.  The narrow road is where I should be, either Christ or silence is my choice.  God will have me to wait on his word.  God and flattery.  Flattery is always for self gain.

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Flattery/

  Proverbs 29:5 - A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.Psalms 5:9 - For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.
 

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Q26. Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? To get our way with a difficult person? If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery?

I think flattery is insincere and therefore wrong.  If we do something, while all the time with deception or hidden intent to control or manipulate I would say it is wrong.  To think highly of a person, or to give a legitimate compliment, in the right time and place I think can be a bonding experience and part of relationships God intended as we all need encouragement or vision or we feel unappreciated or worn out or burnt out and the compliment comes just when we need it and lifts us up and God's wings to soar.  Our motivations and intentions for praising a person can be many.  And people who are courageous and and inspiration and work hard we do celebrate.  We don't do it at the expense of anyone or to create a monster of someone.  The Lord tells us to esteem all equally and even to give the lesser more attention to build them up or the weaker to accommodate the weakness. God has warned us that pride comes before a fall.  And he tells us the wicked lay in wait.  I would think someone who lays in wait to flatter to gain advantage would be considered deceptive and wicked. 

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Q26. 
Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? To get our way with a difficult person? If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery?
No, in both cases flattery can often result in a person being deceived into believing that they deserve it. Too much flattery can result in one becoming proud – making it difficult to have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. I’m sure God views flattery as preventing us from believing in His Son. Spurgeon said that fame, honour, and celebrity hinder true faith. 
 

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It is not good to use flattery to smooth social situations as it is not genuine and sincere. It is used to manipulate the situation to win over people and as such the whole situation is like buying the face of the one flattered to think that he/she is really appreciated.

If it is used to get our way with a difficult person it is still wrong because the situation can only last for a while but upon realizing that it was flattery that was used, that can worsen the situation. Flattery will get you nowhere so says the English proverb. 

God hates flattery as seen in Proverbs 26 verses 23 and 28 which says "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot." "A lying tongue hates its victims and flattering words can cause ruin." Proverbs 29 verse 5 says "To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet." 1 Thessalonians 2: 5-6 and Romans 16: 18, these scriptures are a clear indication that God hates flattery. If the Word of God says love your neighbor as you love yourself, you will not use flattery to deceive the one you love because in doing so, you will not be serving Christ but your own interests.

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Q26.

Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations?

No, be assertive in your ways.

To get our way with a difficult person?

Not even in this situation, be humble but don't despise assertiveness.

If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery?

I can actually say as sin, because the end result is not pure.

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Q. 26 Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations?

It is generally not considered a good practice as it can be perceived as insincere and manipulative.

To get our way with a difficult person?

No! that would be very inappropriate then to do. We must be humble in dealing with a difficult person.

If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery?

I believe God views flattery as a negative, considering it insincere, manipulative, and a form of deception.

 

 

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Flattery is not okay. For the one giving it, even if the praised qualities of the individual are true because there’s an element of insincerity it’s deceptive. For the person receiving it, flattery strokes pride that if left unchecked  can spring forth a host of sins, pulling that person and others away from God.

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Q26. Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? To get our way with a difficult person? If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery?

No it is not okay to use flattery because it is not genuine...   The easy thing to do when we are working with a difficult person is offer flattery but that is a stumbling block to them.  We need to get to the root of the issue.  This doesn't mean we lack compassion it means we walk in truth and rebuke when we are called to do so.   I believe flattery saddens God because he knows unhealthy flattery is connected to pride which was the down fall of humanity.    I really like the story of the pastor's conference because it opened my eyes to view every step I take as a pastor.  I love this study, Praise God!

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Q26.

  1. Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? Not advisable, encouragement yes, excess fluttery is dangerous as the person gets an inflated idea of their capability beyond their current faith capacity.
  2. To get our way with a difficult person? No, let God give you the words you need. Often no answer is best in these situations.
  3. If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another's pride, how do you think God views flattery? It is telling a lie. There is no truth intended in it and it is not of God’s purpose.
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Q26. Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? To get our way with a difficult person? If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another’s pride, how do you think God views flattery?

If flattery is used insincerely and in a manipulative way, I do not think God's view is that this is sin.  We never saw Jesus flatter the Pharisees.  We never heard Jesus flatter anyone.  He spoke truth, giving sincere compliments or factual statements.  If flattering words are spoken by someone, they are not necessarily 'flattery' which within this section of study appears to be synonymous with 'false'. Flattering words could be kind words spoken in truth.  Flattery only feeds pride.

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On 8/12/2024 at 10:40 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q26. Is it okay to use flattery to smooth social situations? To get our way with a difficult person? If flattery is insincerity and manipulation of another’s pride, how do you think God views flattery?

No, If you are flattering someone to impress them or manipulate them it is the wrong motivation.  If you truly appreciate them in what they are doing or have done and are truthful it is encouraging.

If we are doing it with a difficult person, we are doing it to help ourselves and it is really untrue, and insincere.

God desires truth.  If flattery is manipulative and deceptive it does not please God.

 

 

 

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On my report cards in grade school were two grades listed apart from the others -- "citizenship" and "effort." I knew that "effort" was a consolation prize for kids who were lousy in the real subjects. Effort was a form of flattery, that is, and flattery a form of lying. A good grade for "effort" was the teacher's way of making me feel good about myself (though most of the time I got lousy grades in "effort" too!) It didn't work. I got "Cs" and "Ds" in reading, math and just about every other subject ... and knew I deserved those grades. The silly grade for "effort" didn't matter to me, and shouldn't have. I had figured it out. 

Thus, I think the worst thing about flattery is that in the end, it doesn't work. Flattery is always subject to discovery, of being found to be a lie. Flattery, then, puts a finger on the scale. It tilts the truth in a desired direction. 

One of my personal peeves has to do with parents who constantly tell their kids they're so great, so wonderful, so fast, so smart, so talented, so handsome, so much better than everyone else ... etc. Those kids thrive on flattery. At some point, however, they are forced to kneel on the same starting line with everyone else -- often, their real "ranking" is a hard for them to accept. Years of flattery, of their mum telling them they SHOULD be something which they are not is undone when the truth comes out. This was avoidable. Easily. They were never permitted to learn the truth of where they rank vis-a-vis others. They hadn't been exposed to real competition, only flattery.

For this reason, I think open and fair competition is the best antidote to flattery. 

Telling the truth is the second-best antidote to flattery. We have to realize that the pressure to say "nice things" about each other is actually a pressure to lie. It is not kindness or gentleness or building up someone's "self-esteem." It's just lying. Similarly, speaking the truth is not mean or arrogant, but rather is straightforward and clear-sighted thinking. The truth perhaps shouldn't always be told, but every time we pretend that "X" is better than it is, we create an alternative reality that will eventually be knocked down. Thankfully, most of us have one person in our lives to whom we can tell the truth, a person we can trust, a person who can handle our judgments, right or wrong, a person who wants to see life as it really is, that is, to avoid flattery. 

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