Q31. Fighting

[Pastor Ralph]

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarrelling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict knowing that peace doesn’t depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

[Brother Clifford wilson]

Q31 This question reguires prayer to answer.  Since a great deal of conflict might derive from believers,  and non believers, I choose to respond from the believers state of mind.  Humility can serve some purpose in knowing that some people are driven by worldly lusts for power and deceit.  Some leaders thrive on pride, choices are made to protect their self worth in the world and their attempt to made gain in the spiritual mind of people that are weak in physical strength.  We must hold them accountable for their shrew behaviors.  The man of God has weapons of great strength at their disposal, use them.  Seek Gods approach in meditation and communicate with the spirit.  The answer God give will not come from the worldly view of conflict.  Faith in God and what he says is very important.  Especially when agreement is nearly impossible.  War, peace, love, hate, correctness belong in the hands of God.  Do not be afraid when God answers.

[Jewells]

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

We are living in a culture that are ruled by narcissists.  Narcissism is becoming more and more the norm.  Selfies are everywhere and as our culture divides more and more into various groups we have lost the ability to discuss things rationally and to see the other's point of view.  There is bullying on the playground and in the public debate.  We see in Ephesians 6 we have been called to battle and to put on the whole armor of God.  I think humility is part of that armor.  As we seek the Lord to find out his will for our lives we will know how to stand in each battle.  He can give us the self control to face the battle in his holy spirit otherwise we come up short every time.  Patience, long suffering, turning the other cheek at times or taking someone to court and saying enough is enough is all at his direction.  We cannot win any battle if the Lord is not involved.  If we choose to serve our flesh, or our emotions, or if we take vengeance for wrongs done we loose.  I think if our desire is to build bridges to each individual whatever our differences and truly to love them as God desires we will do well.  The Lord wants to save, to redeem and we play a part in His plan for each soul.  However, he does not require us to be a door mat.  When it is clear that the other will not hear us or cannot hear us, we can walk away from the conflict and turn it over to God.  Humility I think is seeking God's will, God's way, and it doesn't really matter who can scream the loudest or carry a bigger stick. if we don't have our pride involved we can walk away, we can forgive as well, and keep our peace. 

[Dr. Gracie L. Adderly]

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarrelling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict knowing that peace doesn’t depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

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Pride fuels conflict because prideful people are usually motivated by arrogance, which is egocentric and can cause conflict. It's hard to live peaceably around an argumentive person because of the root stronghold; pride and fear.

This person is not secure in who they are as a person. They mask their inadequacies through a need to always be right. 

They often exaggerate their self-worth by asserting their self-worth at the expense of others or by comparing themselves to others. By devaluing others, they may turn other people into competitors. 
 

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In the Old Testament Abram—later renamed as Abraham (Genesis 17:5)—chose peace instead of strife.

There was conflict between his herdsmen and those of his nephew Lot. So, Abram said, "Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen" (Genesis 13:8).

He offered Lot whatever land he wanted. He told Lot, "Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left" (Genesis 13:9).

The Lord rewarded Abram for choosing peace instead of strife. He promised Abram and his descendants all the land Abram could see, re-emphasizing the promise He had made with Abram when He called him out of his homeland (Genesis 12:1–3, 7).

He said, "for all the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever" (Genesis 13:15n

Still in the Old Testament, SEE Proverbs 17:28: Solomon noted that a person who knows when to be quiet could be seen as wise, even if he's not.

The person who lacks self-control might talk themselves into a beating (Proverbs 18:6).

Not every argument is worth having, so a wise person chooses their battles carefully. Avoiding petty squabbles is the mark of a wise person; it earns the respect of others. In contrast, those who are hot-tempered, argumentative, or easily angered are clearly fools.

The New Testament instructions echo this principle. Jesus commands His followers to ignore insults and other minor infractions (Luke 6:29). Paul extols the honor of peacemakers (Romans 12:18) and commands Christians to avoid revenge (Romans 12:19–21).

In the New Testament; James 4:6-10 it reads: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil...and he will flee from you...

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But what stops our fights is our proximity to God.

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil...and he will flee from you. (James 4:6–10)

What stops our fights is our wanting who He is. - finding our souls satisfied by what we believe is our ultimate good.

The solution to our conflicts is not emotional numbness. The solution is to become awakened to new desires. The resolution to our fury is to have souls that are broken by sin, washed in humility, and now not only attracted to God, but redeemed and made lovely — humble souls that in turn further attract the affection of God.

 

 

 

 

 

[Clelie]

Pride is serving self. Self does not give in easily to the other and this causes conflict .
Fighting and quarreling is again wanting to satisfy one’s desires in the flesh so it is a state of opposition that causes strife . 
The root of our fighting comes   from wanting to satisfy the pleasures of self.

where there is conflict, to be solved , we need to have wisdom, patience ,love , kindness and above all the help of the Holy Spirit who produces the  fruit to face the issue.

To deal with conflicts, it is necessary to see the others point of view  and decide to give in or to agree to disagree in a spirit of tolerance.

[Zanele Tlhakanelo]

Pride fuels conflict because it  makes the person dictate what others are supposed to hear and do. The person causing conflict believes that he/she is charge of the situation and does not want to listen to other. He/She believes that the last word must come from him/her. These are people who are always selfish and their opinion matters over other people's opinions.

Fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceful life because the person who normally starts that has no patience of listening to others. He/she is disrepectful and always wants his/her agenda to prevail over other people. God-fearing people do not pick up fights and quarrels but will always want to peaceably remedy the situation but those with a fighting spirit and most often caused by drunkenness, do not want peace and will always quarrel over small matters.

What is at the root of our fighting is that we want things that we do not get and what we do not have. Most of the time jealousy can cause a person to fight with someone because you think that the other person is better than you and just pick up a fight over nothing. These fights are normally caused by selfish desires.

Conflict is painful and also messy, therefore, most people try to avoid it but it is important that matters be confronted and dealt with in order to clear such issues. If the conflict is ignored, it is like sweeping dirt under the carpet and each time the dirt accumulates, the conflict worsens. At time it is done to bring about peace but I strongly believe that peace will come once the matter has been resolved.

Some of the ways to diasgree, agreeably, humbly is that we allow the person to cool off because if the person is maybe drunk, it will be a futile exercise to argue with him/her. As a child of God, it is important to always make peace and show true humility towards all men.

[Brother Clifford wilson]

It seems that these questions/my answers seem to follow me during the day.  I am tried by my answers sometimes.  I understand the answers from the Class teachings, sometimes the water seems hotter when the enemy knows that the right answer is in my heart.  This suggests that even if I can answer the question on paper.  The lord in his spirit must reflect in my heart the spiritual obedience needed to overcome self.  I am a sinner saved by grace by Jesus Christ.  It takes commitment to the Lord to live in real time each time that the enemy tells me different.  And he will try. Convinced, convicted by the spirit Amen

[Brenda Joy]

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

Pride loves conflict it thrives where there is disunity. Pride says I am right you are wrong and drawing that distinction sets others against eachother.  Fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life because breaks down trust, it produces fear and anxiety, it caused disunity and it weakens others.   The root of fighting according to James comes from what is in our hearts.  We maybe feel like we didnt get what we wanted or were treated like we didnt deserve.  We must first look to God, and ask Him to reveal truth and if we have done wrong then own it, ask for forgiveness and learn from it.   If we were mistreated then go to God first and then go to our brother and seek reconciliation.   If we do that and it is not received then our heart is pure and we just keep looking to God.   

[Nicolaas A.P. Mostert]

Q31. (James 4:1-3)

How does pride fuel conflict?

Some find real joy in confrontation and in getting the better of the other person.

How do fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life?

Where there have been loud confrontations, now there is more peace.

According to James, what is at the root of our fighting?

They come from your desires that battle within you

How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us?

Humble people don't pick fights, though they can firmly stand their ground when necessary.

Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

In the conflicts of life, you and I are to work for peace and to do their work quietly.

[Mama Eve]

Q. 31  James 4:13 How does pride fuel conflict?

Pride fuels conflict by creating a sense of entitlement and self-center which people desire their own way this leads to fights and quarrels when they cannot obtain what they want. Pride is not considering the needs of others.

How did fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceful life?

Constantly fighting and quarreling create a constant state of stress, damaging relationships, causing emotional distress hindering communication, and leaving lingering resentment. This makes it very difficult to maintain harmony and positive interactions with people.

According to James what is the root of our fighting?

Our own unchecked desires and passions. According to James, fights and quarrels come from our own internal struggles with self-fish desires.

How do we respond to conflict knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us?

Blessed are the Peace makers for they will be called sons of God.

Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeable, humbly?

Conflicts are inevitable; however, the best way to handle or deal with it is effectively. Because it is inevitable and necessary for improvement. Conflict is also for people to be challenged for positive change, not an attack on anyone's point of view. 

 

 

 

 

[George L]

Q31. (James 4:1-3)

1. How does pride fuel conflict? Pride demands victory, the upper hand and advantage over others openly.
2. How do fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life? They are the opposite of peace and rest. They are continuing to contest no mater the subject.
3. According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? Pride.
4. How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us? Calm, quiet assurance. Be peaceable and a peacemaker if possible.
5. Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly? My wife was a legal secretary at the time. I stopped by to take her to lunch. I remember the attorney on the telephone. He was discussing a case, “Then we can agree that we disagree”. And that was the note he placed in his record on that point of the discussion. Not the overall, but the one point. No contesting, no forceful speach. Only calm speaking and the conclusion of we do not agree on the point.

[hanks]

Q31. (JAMES 4:1-3) 
How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarrelling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly? 
Conflict arises because of our evil selfish desires that originate from our heart full of pride. This selfishness can dominate our lives if allowed to feed off pride, resulting in fighting and quarrelling. A peaceable life is attained by following Paul’s advice: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). The root of our fighting are the evil desires battling within us: we want more - more status, more money, more possessions, more recognition, more and more – never satisfied. We respond to conflict by relying on the wisdom that comes from God to help us maintain the peace. All our thoughts, words, and deeds must be peaceable and undefiled. By being gentle and courteous; approachable and willing to yield; anxious to help and find a right solution; compassionate and kind; and sincere without hypocrisy. 
 

[Lisa Wolf]

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarrelling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict knowing that peace doesn’t depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?

Pride fuels conflict in the strong certainty that one is right.  Pride says 'I must be right  and win at all costs!' Fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life because you are always mad at someone.  There is always someone you won't welcome.  James 4:1-3 states, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." Thus, the root cause of fighting is desire, coveting, and not asking.  If asking happens, the motives are wrong--only desiring your own pleasure.  God's Word tells us that in the part of a relationship that depends on us, live peacefully with all (Romans 12:18).  To agree to disagree sometimes the topics to be discussed must be limited.  We agree not to bring up topics that ignite discord.

[Krissi]

I'm not convinced that most conflicts or arguments are caused by pride. Rather, such fighting could be caused by differences in how we look at life as Christians, that is, the way a man, woman or congregation looks at the world through the eyes of faith ... a Christian worldview.

Yes, we are all Christian, but it is also the case that we come from wildly varying backgrounds. In the West, we stress the former, our common faith, and then whitewash our differences -- deep inside, however, we know that conflicts will be reduced if we associate with people who look through a lens of faith ground to a similar specification. Conversely, conflict is more likely when Christians are forced to sublimate their particular heritage, worldview, class, theological particularities, language, ways of worshipping or whatever just to "keep the peace." Eventually these differences rise to the surface. When they do it results in conflict.

There is nothing sinful about choosing to worship with people of like mind. That's what "church shopping" is about; avoiding contention and strife by seeking a place of worship at which the overwhelming majority of congregants think and worship similarly. The Protestant reformation happened at the point when Christians could no longer deny the impact made by theological and cultural differences between themselves and the dominant, unitary Roman Catholic church. They formed new congregations of like-minded Christians who had the potential, at least, of worshipping in peace. That was the ideal. And it still is. Today, when a congregation splits, we tend to view it as a tragedy. Perhaps we should see it as a sign of strength, that groups who look at the world differently voluntarily create new congregations with a focused  identity.

I know this is anathema to those who have bought into the idea that faith should be stronger than cultural difference, but maybe -- just maybe -- a peaceful, unstressed, congenial, loving community of faith that "fits" is more important than pretending that cultural conflicts in a group can be dealt with or even avoided. The goal is to worship Him, not to struggle with others. We're here to serve Him, not constantly grate against people who worship the same God but with their own particularities.

This is NOT the same as the prideful assertion, "I am right and you are wrong." Not at all. It's merely saying "I don't feel comfortable with the way your group theologizes and worships and would rather not deal with the stress and strain of trying to be part of your congregation when more peaceful options are available." If we can be one Church, indivisible, without knowing each other ... we can One church, though apart, after knowing each other. A unified ecclesia is an abstraction, after all. The nitty-gritty of binding lives together is not abstract. I don't see any value in purposely joining with people with whom I fear I will inevitably conflict .

Worshipping with people unlike myself is a Christianized secular value, not a purely Christian one. It's the result of buying into the secular, contemporary notion that "diversity is strength," or other such claptrap.  On an individual level, a sorts of limited diversity is valuable ... but on the group level, diversity often creates strife. We must be wise as to which sort we're dealing with.

Yes, individual conflicts are inevitable, but a deep and divisive conflict, the sort that cuts to the quick or breaks up a congregation is NOT inevitable. It can be avoided. 

So, avoid conflict by choosing wisely. The world may be a place of conflict and division but the church, writ small, doesn't have to be. Choose to be in a congregation that has a defined focus, a mission attitude and a culturally similar congregation. A mission attitude means that congregants see other Christians as just that -- OTHER Christians, not lesser ones -- and that the primary division in the world is between Christians and seculars, not Christian v. Christian. 

 

[Kak]

Q.31. When we are full of pride we tend to argue and conflict arises. Because of our pride and self righteousness we keep on arguing because we think we are right. It doesn’t occur to us that we could be wrong! We are also selfish and conceited , thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. Conflict will continue until we realise our pride and selfishness and repent and adopt a humble attitude and life style. We are told in God’s word that as far as it is possible we should live at peace with everyone. Sometimes we have to leave some subject alone when we know it will cause conflict. It can show a strength of character but more importantly we are being humble and honouring God.