sjb Posted November 21, 2005 Report Share Posted November 21, 2005 It has to differ in each household, but the common denominator has to be mutual respect and love for one another. My husband and I have been married for 44 years. As I think back, I think that our agreement has been more in terms of 1 Corinthians 12 as Paul describes the church rather than the husband leading and the wife submitting. We brought our own strengths to our marriage and each willingly used them. We also readily admitted our weaknesses and worked on them together. I was reading somewhere the other day the theory that what God meant when he gave Eve the punishment, "your desire shall be for your husband" (Genesis 3:16) is that woman would desire control over man. I have been thinking about that a great deal because I have noticed women who live under very domineering, controlling male rule are usually the ones who become very manipulative and conniving toward everyone. Such an arrangement becomes a lose-lose situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanharmelink Posted September 10, 2006 Report Share Posted September 10, 2006 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Scripture has put an order to famili God, Husaband ,wife, children. If the husband is to be the head of the home, he must love Jesus and be following the steps of the savior. there must be mutual aagreement in dealing with children. If the wife is submissive and the Husband loves her as Christ loves the church, there will be understanding and love in that home. The husband must lead his familyin all phases a bd be man of integrity and willing to follow God's will in his leading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustJeff Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 The only way that this biblical marriage and family will work is if all parties agree going in and maintain Christian values and integrity throughout their lives. Christ must be the head, always. A very difficult chore in difficult times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia A Posted April 23, 2007 Report Share Posted April 23, 2007 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Fathers and husbands can be godly, caring leader without being dictators by following the example of Jesus in His ministry. Jesus was loving, caring and kind but stood up for what is right and wasn't afraid to do this. If there is mutual love and respect as God would have it be in marriage, the sumissiveness and openess of needs coming from a wife can be done with joy. She know she is loved by her husband. If God is in the center of the marriage, working out the right balance is so much easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissioned Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? Fathers and husbands must follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, seek God daily and bring the family up to love honor and obey God. Once they point others to Christ and away from themselves then the tendency to want to be a dictator is diffused. How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? Mothers and wives likewise must see themselves as God sees them, and take on the role of mother and wife as God ordained; remembering that we are all created for a specific purpose and it is that purpose that we should seek to perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaus Posted September 27, 2007 Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 In any relationship you have to talk things out. In a marriage the husband makes the final decision because he is the head of the house just as Jesus is the head of the church. The husband is to love his wife as himself and in return the wife is to respect the husband. If two people love the Lord and ask for his guidance, treat the other the way they want to be treated things will work out. I have found that if you prepare your kids, let them know what your expecting of them they will obey most of the time. If there are problems, that's when I go get their Dad or Grandfather. The key is to live for and love the Lord as best you can and you will be respected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAJU Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) If we give God first proirity in our lives - it is possible - Satan will try to destablilize things - i have experienced this for 18 years now But the more we come close to God , the more God will help us . The same hold for both fathers and mothers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Posted March 5, 2008 Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) By practicing the principles Paul details in Ephesians 5:21-6:4. Put these principles into practice and husband/fathers and wives/mothers won't have a dictatorial problem. You will have perfect balance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servant for Christ Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) I think fathers and husbands can be godly leaders by being firm, gentle, and most of all loving. Being willing to follow God's commands. Mother's and wive's can be submissive and open by talking things out with husband and children and being honest with them and herself. It takes love , honesty, and trust in the family to stay united. Most of all, it takes God's love and the decision to serve Him and do as He commands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masika Posted June 23, 2008 Report Share Posted June 23, 2008 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be conscientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Theories on "correct" discipline change every few years - the Bible never changes. If children do not obey, they must receive correction. The Bible teaches this should be done by using a rod of correction. "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother" (Proverbs 29:15). Often parents become weary disciplining young children. At times, a typical day seems to consist of nagging and scolding. Parents wonder if they have ruined every chance for a loving relationship with their children. They may even be tempted to give up altogether. "Only God knows what to do with this child," they groan. YES GOD DOES!! God chooses each parent with great care. "For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. . ." (Genesis 18:19). God entrusts our children to our specific care. He wants us to know that kind, firm correction will train our children to obey Him. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Colossians 3:20). Consistent, loving correction helps children learn biblical truths like self-discipline. God knew Abraham would raise godly children and God blessed him. By applying God's standards, we too can receive God's blessings as parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo621 Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be conscientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) It's important that the father and/or husband remain steady in God's Word, be consistent in all they do, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide them in all their ways. When one remains close to God, he will be guided in all areas of their lives. Love will be the ruling factor and will keep everything else in line. Women and wives need to first of all keep Christ first in their lives, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide them in all their ways. When one is prayed up, they are less likely to take offense in things, and will be more receptive to the leadership and direction of their husbands. The woman is the complement of the husband, and oftentimes is the glue that holds things together. Even when things are not at their best, a godly woman will seek to be pleasing to her spouse, as well as to God. She will strive to keep peace in her home, yet at the same time seek to keep the lines of communication open between her husband and herself. Sometimes you will find when you go out of your way to show extra love and encouragement to ones' spouse, that in itself is the doorway to be able to share more of what's on your heart, and to keep a receptive atmosphere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul H Posted August 18, 2009 Report Share Posted August 18, 2009 How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Jose Rivera's comments from October 2004 really sum up my thoughts on this, so Jose, I hope that you don't mind, but I will paste your response here: "I agree with Peggy Sue's comment. Love must be at the root of all we do, all we act on. All that Christ did He did out of love and obedience to the Father. Within the garden He asked if there was any way that this cup could pass, yet he also said, "not my will...but yours." That is an example of the love He had for the Father and the Father Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peggy Crans Posted August 30, 2009 Report Share Posted August 30, 2009 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Actions speak louder than words. By being a good example to his family. As Abraham was showing respect and honor to the leader of the three visitors, fathers and husbands should respect and honor their family. It should not be all one sided, because marriage is two people and they should be in agreement when decisions are made. They should be able to dicuss anythingwith each other in a rational manner. Mothers and wives should do the same. Wives should be able to talk to there husbands about anything and should be able to voce what their needs and desires are, just as husbands should be able to. When wives or husbands act like dictators there is no neeting of the minds and there is no love shown. Husbands and wives should show love and respect to each other and the affects will flow over to the rest of the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionbait Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) I have been fortunate in my married life I married a dedicated wife and mother who displays love and faithfulness. I believe this is how our Father in Heaven requires us to treat those we love and the children God has given to us, life is about accomadation, Jesus teaches us to love one another and treat each other with love and display the fruits of the spirit in all that we do. Life teaches us many lessons, most are hard to take, I read the honest and touching reply by BreakThrough it touched my heart, it displays life and love. Bless you BreakThrough for your reply.... touched me. It made me think of this beautiful hymn. Shackled by a heavy burden Neath a load of guilt and shame Then the hand of jesus touched me And now I am no longer the same He touched me, oh he touched me And oh the joy that floods my soul Something happened and now I know He touched me and made me whole Since I met this blessed savior Since he cleansed and made me whole I will never cease to praise him Ill shout it while eternity rolls He touched me oh he touched me And oh the joy that floods my soul Something happened and now I know He touched me and made me whole Thankyou Lord for saving me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking His Face Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Father's and Mother's husbands and wife's must have Christ take 1st place in there lives. Worshiping and serving and loving God more than anything else. Then everything else falls into place, we are tenderhearted pliable able to hear that still small voice guiding and directing our steps. Led by the Holy Spirit in all area's of our lives Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted January 18, 2010 Report Share Posted January 18, 2010 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance - of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance - of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be conscientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) It is very difficult in today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foofee's Nana Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? This is a question that has been posed for centuries....some of us are married to people of other faiths and this presents a fine line. I think if a man loves his wife as he would love himself, he will be a good , kind leader of the home. In the Christian world this is a type of Christ...He gave it all for His bride, the church. How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) We need to stay in prayer and remember....always remember what God would have us do. We do not have to be a doormat, but rather show a loving spirit, even when it does not seem the world around us is fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearl Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? By being an example and by having an ongoing relationship with members of the family. This will only come with time being spent with the family as a unit and time being spent with each member of the family unit. How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? By respecting the mate and asking God for that unconditional love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan8 Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) I believe that husbands and wives can strike the right balance if they are submissive to the Word of God and ask God to help them be the effective spouse they are to be. It will all work if we follow God's chain of command in scripture. The wive will be submissive to the husband if the husband is submissive to the Lord and HIs Word. Once you get out from under the umbrella of protection that God has made for you, you begin to encounter problems. Of course it is easier said then done. But egos have to be brought into submission to the will of God for both parties, the crucifixion of the flesh as well and if both are truly asking God to be an effective spouse they will love one another fervently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spen Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Oh my yes...the crucible of marriage... and striking the right balance, is about the most basic stuff. Coming to grips with our own shortcomings and knowing what we are capable of as well as our preferences. Then opening ourselves up to another persons inspection. Yea in all our exposed state. However, our helpmates must have this same understanding too or the two will be unequally yoked together. However for life to be lived in marital accord the two must be willing to love God and commit their marriage to his kingdom. There will be ups and downs, such is life, but God is glorified in our intentions, even when we think we Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastor neal Posted April 24, 2011 Report Share Posted April 24, 2011 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) Being a father and husband is an awesome responsibility...one which needs to have a proper balance of love, discipline, concern and compassion. It is so easy to become a dictator of a family. This is why a family must be God centered. With God as our leader we are taught to be fair, responsive, caring and just. Mothers and wives, although many need to work today for various reasons, can still fulfill their roles as wives and mothers; however, because of the workloads of todays fast-paced world I believe that she should also fulfill the role of facilitator assigning children, if any, to various roles and chores. She should openly approach her husband with her needs and desires since the cornerstone of a good marriage is communication. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifee Posted December 16, 2011 Report Share Posted December 16, 2011 2a) Love first is the key.Men have responsibilities to seek the Lord for wisdom and strength in providing for their wives and children, caring for them and lead them to follow Jesus’ way for their actions to be right & just. Out of love for each other need to allocate fare time for each putting God first,doing what is right,putting their needs second and own needs later.Manageing time well. B)Women have responsibilities as mothers and wives,to care for children,support husbands mutually discussing with husband family decisions,contributing their wisdom too,submitting to scripture, &husbands lead in seeking right and just path to follow.Open dialogue in marriages,loving,accepting &affirming of each other just as we are unique in God’s sight,building openness &trust, helps women to be open about their needs and desires,&demonstrates good model for children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
royk Posted September 29, 2012 Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be conscientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.) ​Prayer and supplication seem to be part of the answer. This means a father can't react in anger quickly. This is such great responsibility, I don't know where to start. Taking action in prayer seems like the only solution of guidance. Let God lead us in everything, especially how I treat my wife and children, though they are grown up and moved out of the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Jerry Posted March 19, 2013 Report Share Posted March 19, 2013 Fathers and husbands can strike the right balance – of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators by being in touch with their families. They can talk to them and can play with them and respect their opinions. As long as there are commutations then the mothers and wives can strike the right balance – of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Posted November 16, 2013 Report Share Posted November 16, 2013 Q2. (18:16-19) How can fathers and husbands strike the right balance -- of being godly, caring leaders without being dictators? How can mothers and wives strike the right balance -- of being submissive and at the same time being open about their needs and desires? (I know of no Christian cookie-cutter answer to this. It must be contientiously worked out within the crucible of marriage.)            Probably the way to strike the right balance is through a lot of prayer, respect your family, and don't lord it over the family. It is challenging being the leader of a family. It must be done through love and patience and a degree of flexibility. Always remembering you are dealing different personalities and attitudes within your own home. If you love your family, you can not walk away from your wife and kids. As a dad and husband I most deal with all their desires and problems and varying attitudes which is not always easy.  However, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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