Q44. Unwholesome Talk

[Beadie]

We Christians are sometimes too quick to criticize and we do so for selfish reasons and not to aid the hearer in anyway. Sometimes our criticism is not even called for and when it is we don

[pickledilly]

I think Christians are guilty of just about any kind of rotten, stinking talk that the rest of the world uses. But we have particular command to speak rightly about the LORD, the Body of believers in Christ, and self as a child of God. We so commonly speak with doubt or disbelief or distorted feelings /understanding. We shortchange and pervert what's true and reliable. That does not build up anything. It is degenerative instead of regenerative.

Paul's three guidelines are:

1) Speak words that will strengthen and grow people.

2) Speak words appropriate to the situation and beneficial to the hearer.

3) Speak words that express grace - divine favor and empowerment.

Slander is defaming, degrading, and devaluing. It is too common, even among believers. We're jealous of other ministries, positions, giftings, successes, etc., etc. We trivialize or diminish them to make ourselves look/feel better and create opportunities for self. Christians are still human beings with lots of old wounds and baggage and coping mechanisms, and we often try to validate or elevate ourselves by bringing someone else low in the eyes of others. We need to develop awareness of what we are doing to others and why it is wrong. I think as we submit to the Holy Spirit's work in us to have the eyes of our hearts enlightened to know the hope to which God has called us, the riches of His glorious inheritance in all the saints, and the immeasurable greatness of His power towards those who believe (from Eph.1:18-19) and as we grow in comprehending His rich mercy shown because of the great love He has for us (from 2:4), we learn to value others in the Body more highly even as we learn to correctly esteem ourselves in a godly way. We have a shared hope, a shared call, a shared glorious inheritance, and a shared immeasurable divine Power Source to help us overcome. Protecting the reputation and caring rightly about others will come out of doing the same for our Father and valuing what He values.

[edler]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

Of things that need to be put aside by those who would demonstrate honorable living. bitterness, wrath,anger,wrangling,slander,and malice.

[JanMary]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians?

Gossip, bitter ranting, sour complaining, sexual innuendos, off color jokes, racial jokes, cursing, venomous angry outbursts...wrath, negative speaking about oneself or which brings down another, clamor, contention, animosity, quarreling, criticism, abusive, blasphemous language, malice, spite, ill will, baseness of any kind. Any speech which grieves the Holy Spirit.

What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say?

1. Speak only what is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others.

2. That our speaking is fitting to the need and the occasion.

3. That our speaking may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.

The power of life and death is in the tongue...very sobering words.

What is slander?

Talk which is of a defamatory nature, meant to destroy another's reputation, business, etc.

How common is it among Christians?

Sadly, it is fairly common in one form or another, or we would not be exhorted against such talk.

How can we prevent it?

Don't do it! Ask the Lord to "muzzle my mouth" as it says in Psalm 39:1, if tempted to do it.

Don't listen to it! If someone starts, put the hand up and say "Please stop right there. I don't want to hear this".

[hanks]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32)

What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians?

What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say?

What is slander?

How common is it among Christians?

How can we prevent it?

Unwholesome speech is corrupt speech and generally means conversation that is filthy and suggestive; this would include off-colour jokes, profanity, and dirty stories. But it could even include speech that is frivolous, empty, idle, and worthless. Paul deals with obscene and vile language in Eph 5:4 but here he is telling us to abandon profitless speech and substitute it with more positive and constructive conversation. Our speech should be more edifying in that it should result in building up our listeners. Also it should be more appropriate in that it should be more suitable to the occasion. It can also be more gracious in that it should impart grace to our listeners. Slander is an abusive attack on another person

[poetmom]

Wow--I think it has all been said aptly by the last several posters. Unwholesome talk is rampant, and if I spent just one week trying to live out this verse and nothing else in the Bible, with the Holy Spirit's help, it would transform my character.

[wifee]

3a)Being ungracious in how we speak of other people e.gjudging others unfairly,being critical of leaders in a non-constructive way,talking others down b)3 guidelines i) Speak words that will strengthen,build others up and grow people.ii) Speak words appropriate to the situation and beneficial to the hearer not me to vent.iii) Speak words that express grace - divine favor and empowerment. slander is speech that denigrates or defames a person c)even christians can be disrespectful of others unfortunately sometimes.Our words can cause deep pain to others & grieve God too d)we all need to keep a tight reign on our tongues.If God is truth,we should speak like our Father, speaking truth &love especially in christian community for we are all members of same body.

[RLL]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

Talking about other people. o be kind to one another, understanding, and forgiving. Slander is trying to or making someone look bad by talking about them in a defamely way. This is very common among Christians and the reason some nonbelievers shun Christianity. By speaking out against it and praying!

[jripper]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

When we speak bad of others, It is very common today. It is a sin to do it.....

[LadyP]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

1. What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians?

The most unwholesome talk that is common among us Chrisitans is we say one thing in a person face and then go talk about them behind their backs. That is unwholesome, when a person is truly expressing their love and faith in Jesus Christ, we laugh and snickle at them.

2. What three guidlines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say?

The three guidelines are: 1. Let no corrupt communication proced out of your mouth, 2. Let all bitterness and wrath, anger and clamour and eivil speaking be put away from you with all malice.3.Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ sake has forgiven us.

3. What is slander?

Slander is speaking evil of someone to where you cause them pain. This is common among Christins when they put themselves above all.

How can we prevent this?

We can prevent this by remembering that whatever we say to a person or about a person, let it be something that will build them up and tear them down. We are all in this together.

[Jubilee]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

The kind of "unwholesome talk" which is common among us Christians is to gossip about others, make derogatory jokes or remarks about people who do not belong to our native culture, make intensive statements about people we think are inferior to us.

Paul gave us three guidelines to measure the value of what we say. They are: 1) Is it helpful for building others? 2) Is it according to the hearer's needs? 3) Is it beneficial to the hearer?

Slander is a story that puts people down, brings people to a level of nonentity. Slander is saying degrading things about another person to lessen people's opinion of them.

It is common among Christians because they feel they are doing a service to someone.

We can prevent slander by catching ourselves up anytime we find ourselves in such a position. We can also prevent it by asking the Holy Spirit to strengthen us in our weakest moments, and helping us to unlearn it gradually.

[Jubilee]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

The kind of "unwholesome talk" which is common among us Christians is to gossip about others, make derogatory jokes or remarks about people who do not belong to our native culture, make intensive statements about people we think are inferior to us.

Paul gave us three guidelines to measure the value of what we say. They are: 1) Is it helpful for building others up?; 2) Is it according to the hearer's needs? 3) Is it beneficial to the hearer?

Slander is a story that puts people down, brings people to a level of nonentity. Slander is saying degrading things about another person to lessen people's opinion of them.

It is common among Christians because they feel they are doing a service to someone.

We can prevent slander by catching ourselves up anytime we find ourselves in such a position. We can also prevent it by asking the Holy Spirit to strengthen us in our weakest moments, and helping us to unlearn it gradually.

[Old Jerry]

I think that some of the “unwholesome talk” that is common among us Christians is that of slandering or gossiping. A lot of times we Christians do some cussing when we are away from the church.

The three guidelines that Paul give us to measure the value of what we say is (1 Does it edify the person, 2) It is according to the hearers needs and 3) is it beneficial to the hearer.

Slander is gossiping and it does occur among Christians. I don’t know how common it is because when I hear some I either walk away or I try to correct the person doing. That seems to correct the situation and it prevents them from doing it around me. I don’t know how you prevent it.

[lighthouse2014]

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

Among Christians the most unwholesome talk is gossip, slander and giving our unbiased comments about something or someone.

The three guidelines Paul gives us to measure value in what we say are: 1. building others up so that they are edified and encouraged. That way our good words will communicate grace to those who hear it. 2. That it is beneficial to the hears needs, be kind and compassionate toward their situation. 3. That is beneficial to the hearer, building the up and encouraging them to live a life worthy of Christ and His Church, to forgive one another as Christ has forgiven us.

Slander is a statement damaging one's reputation, belittling them because of our rage or anger. I have heard it said that slander is when you belittle someone to their face and gossip is when you talk about them behind their back.

Slander is usually common among Christians because one always thinks their idea or ways are better than someone else s. There is usually little love displayed by such Christians.

The best way to prevent slander is to remember we are sealed and filled with the Holy Spirit. We should bridle our tongue and speak only that which is wholesome to our brothers and sisters.    

[JoanG]

I feel that as Christians there is a lot of gossiping that gets done. People are very critical of how the church is run. And people will find a scape goat to blame each time something goes wrong. There is a lot of false judgment that goes on in a congregation. People love to belittle the beliefs and actions of those around them.

 

We should determine if our words will build up the other person. Will it make them feel better.

We need to be certain that the person has to hear what we are going to say to them. If not, we should just keep it to ourselves.

We should make sure that there are benefits to the person we are going to talk to. We need to make sure that we are doing this in a very loving way.

 

We are very critical people. we have been known to lie about the character of other people to make ourselves look better. Slandering is an all too common practice in congregations. We talk behind the backs of people all the time in churches.

 

To stop all of this negativity, we need to always remember to talk in love.

[Karen11]

On 9/4/2006 at 8:58 AM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q3. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

Gossip can sneak up on a Christian, we must refrain from it.

Is it helpful for building others up?..... Is it helping build them up in Christ?

Is it according to the hearer's needs? ......Is it about what that person needs.

Is it beneficial to the hearer?..... Will it benefit that person in some way.

Talking about people, things that are not true.

I think it is common, we must keep God first, to never forget what he wants us to do, love much. 

[Maleshoane]

Unwholesome talk is common among us Christians is talk that does not edify the hearer. Our talks should be of important, encourages and bring out good fruits to those who hear it. Slander is bad mouthing a person to make him or her Lowe to the hearer and it is common among us Christians to belittle each other, we can prevent it by loving one another just like Christ who loved us unconditionally.

[hanks]

Q44. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it? 
Unwholesome speech is corrupt speech and generally means conversation that is filthy and suggestive; this would include off-colour jokes, profanity, and dirty stories. But it could even include speech that is frivolous, empty, idle, and worthless. Paul deals with obscene and vile language in Eph 5:4 but here he is telling us to abandon profitless speech and substitute it with more positive and constructive conversation. Our speech should be more edifying in that it should result in building up our listeners. Also, it should be more appropriate in that it should be more suitable to the occasion. It can also be more gracious in that it should impart grace to our listeners. Slander is an abusive attack on another person’s character, or even lies spoken to damage the reputation of another. A person cannot entertain evil thoughts and thoughts about the Lord Jesus at the same time. If, then, an evil thought should come to us, we should immediately get rid of it by meditating on the Person and work of Christ. For example, In Php 4:8 we read, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.” (One of my favourite verses). You do not have to look very closely to find the Lord Jesus Christ in this verse. Everything that is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy is found in Him. If only we could concentrate on our Saviour Lord Jesus there would not be space in our minds for unwholesome talk. 
 

[haar]

. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians?

Some “unwholesome talks” common among Christians today include back biting, saying things to demean others or to make people look down at others etc.

What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander?

Paul gives the following guidelines regarding what we say:

1. It must be that which is helpful for building others up

2. It has to be only that which is according to the hearer's needs

3. It should be beneficial to the hearer         

How common is it among Christians? 

Unwholesome talks and and character assassination and the like are unfortunately common in our churches today.

How can we prevent it? We need revival for Divine intervention in our lives

[Bianca]

One thing that is common is slander. Trying to get someone else to agree with you just to prove a point by bringing down their character and making them look bad in front of someone else so they can dislike them to. If something being said is not beneficial to say or edifying then we need to keep it to ourselves and bring it to God to be dealt with. Much confusion can be avoided by doing right. Slander is more common then it should be. As Christians we are called to love one another not belittle each other just to prove a point.

[Krissi]

 What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

I find it to be fascinating, as Pastor Ralph said, that much of what Paul described as sinful behavior concerns speech. Some thoughts in no order.

When I pray, I let it all out before God. At times, some "choice" words slip out -- often I type my prayers quickly, with eyes shut. I have always thought that it was good to be totally transparent before God. My logic was something like this: He knows what I'm thinking anyway, so why not say it? Now, I'm wondering if the words I use in prayer should be as reserved as my language in public. Also, in prayer, I tell God what I think of people in unvarnished prose. It's between God and me, right? Prayer has become an anger vent, in some ways. My words and public face are quite sweet -- thoughts and prayers are not.

Humor is often the vehicle used to deliver slander. I'm thinking of speeches in which one public figure slanders another ... a "zinger." That's the goal, to malign another verbally but to do so in such a way that the pol doesn't come off as mean-spirited. It's considered clever to come up with a devastating phrase that aims at a person, not directly but indirectly. Think Reagan:  I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." That's a great line. It worked fabulously by casting doubt on Mondale's competence, maturity and capability.  Was it wrong for Reagan to say this? I'm not sure. Real slander isn't a  lie about someone but a lie with the intent to devastate that person publicly, to defame or destroy his or her reputation. It certainly didn't uplift his political opponent.

Politics aside, so much of life is like this. We get ahead by gently pushing those around us down. Verbally. Most of the time we're not aware of what we're doing.

For example, when we debate and argue, we tend to "go personal" if our opponent's speaking points aren't persuasive, or if we know our arguments are shoddy. At that point, the debater tries to destroy not the proposition/opposing argument, but the  opposition. The opponent is often a friend, co-worker or spouse. It's difficult to discern the fine line between opposing an argument and a person, particularly if the person and the idea are closely intertwined.

Even non-verbal gestures while speaking can attack the opponent's intelligence or truthfulness. Rolling one's eyes ...

I'm not certain I understand the difference between the first and third of Paul's points, but the overall gist seems to be to put the well-being of others ahead of yourself when speaking.

This used to be called, "being considerate" when speaking!

 

 

 

 

[Janzie]

On 9/4/2006 at 8:58 AM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q44. (Ephesians 4:29-32) What kind of "unwholesome talk" is common among us Christians? What three guidelines does Paul give us to measure the value of what we say? What is slander? How common is it among Christians? How can we prevent it?

Gossiping and slander.

Does is edify and build up the person, do they really need to hear it, does it benefit them.

Slander is talking to someone of others, putting them down.

It is common, we try not to but it eventually comes out.

We can stop it by repenting of it. watching what we say because: Matthew 15:18  Those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
 

[Jonathan Edwards]

Among Christians :  useless, nasty and at times obscene conversations. So called socializing devoid of wholesome language.   Such believers just want an audience, and lack of diligent Bible study and a steady prayer life.  I witnessed this type of behavior amongst fellow students in a Christian college.   Very strange indeed.  Constant morose language;  some were evidently not happy.  I am grateful that I stayed to myself.   During my secular career,  same thing.   Labor union meetings were characterized by negative language; I handed in my union card, and no more union meetings!

Edifying speech: our words should build up hearers in holiness, faith and wisdom. Secondly, our words need to be geared to the mindsets of hearers; we can cannot speak in the ears of a fool who will despise the wisdom of our words.  Christ ministered  to the Samaritan woman at her level, Christ did speak in righteous anger in regards to  the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. Thirdly, our words should be polite, and said with grace (Colossians 4:6).

Slander: false statements made orally by the opposing party.  Slander is caused by meddlesome believers; they have too much time on their hands, they are not busy about more urgent matters: personal Bible study, personal prayer time, and witnessing.  If these people were more urgent about their high callings per 1 Peter 2:9, they wouldn't have the time of day for slander.   Churches need to get the mourners' benches out of the closet.   

[Old Jerry]

I think that gossip is the common “unwholesome talk” that is common among us Christians. We need to see if it is useful for the one that we are speaking to. Is it in accordance to the hearers needs and is it beneficial for the hearer. Slander is putting somebody down so that we look better than them. We always have a choice on whether we listen to the slander or we can walk away.