Q4. Victory over Wrong Desires

[Pastor Ralph]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

[Tabatha]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

We are taught that there is such a thing as heart-adultry, adulterous thoughts and dispositions, which never proceed to the act or fornication; and perhaps the defilment which these give to the souls, that is here so clearly asserted, was not only included in the seventh commandment, but was signified and intened in many of those ceremonial pollutions under the law, for which they were to wash their clothers and bathe their fleshin water. Whosoever lookth on a woman ( not only another man's wife, as some would have it, but any woman), to **** after her has committed adultry with her in his heart, ( Math. 5-28 ) This command forbids not on the acts of fornication and adultry, but.

( 1 ) All appetites to them , all ******* after the forbidden object; this is the beginning of sin, **** conceiving ( James 1: 15 ) It is a bad step towards the sin; and where the **** is dwelt upon and approved, and the wanton desire is rolled under the tongue as a sweet morsel, It is the commission of sin, as far as the heart can do it;If it prevail not in what it says; All approaches toward them; feeeding the eye with the light of the forbidden fruit; not only looking for that end, that I may ****: but looking till I **** or looking to gratify the ****, where satisfaction cannot be obtained. The eye is both the outlet and the inlet

Men sin but devils tempt to sin. I would turn away from those things that would tempt and ask the Holy Spirit to help me Also cover my mind with thr blood of Jesus. Stay away from movie, shut the internet off. Get rid of the TV>

I can not get the Dots out where the word **** is!

Counseling a brother or sister re: *****. I would pray with them and do deliverence.

[Ken7]

Safeguards are available and do work with an accountability partner closely involved. Observing an associate pastor who asked his wife to be his partner in this there was a success, but it must be constant over a long time.

Before safeguards will work, there must be Faith. Belief that God will do what He has promised. Set Free Indeed.

The peace that comes from this kind of Faith is enough to carry one through to the end.

[Bonnie Nelson]

Q4. Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with ***********? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

Many times people who are not happy in their home life, will resort to some type of *********** or prostitution to satisfy their sexual needs. If someone came to me for counsel I would suggest that there is another reason for their **** of ***********. Is there any other underlying reason why they are resorting to ****. I would then ask them to pray with me that God would take the desire away from them. If needed have them look for additional help. Most of all, I would make sure that I kept in contact with the individual to strengthen them in their healing. We can

[Cee]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

The way I would councel a brother/sister would be to show that person in Scriputre in Matthew 5:28 what Jesus said about this kind of sex act. Then I would show that preson another Scripture in 1 John

1:9 where if we confess and repent our sins God is faithful to forgive us of that sin. The way I have protected myself and grand-children from this kind of temptation on the internet is Parental Control. I use my discernment when comes to the beach or poolside I'll have to be with Christians there, as far as TV it's not on that much, I'll rather read a book or find a Intercessory Prayer meeting somewhere.

[Elwood C O'Dell]

I feel that Dr. Wilson has shared very pointedly some sound and practical advice as far as the answer to these questions.

1. Call an attraction to pornogr*phy what it is -- adultery of the heart -- a spiritual addiction.

2. Understand something of the nature of the addiction. For example, what is the "love hunger" that pornogr*phy feeds and what are the "triggers" that result in viewing of pornogr*phy?

3. Come to a firm conviction that lus+ is wrong. Deal with each of the rationalizations you have made for your sin. Write them down to look at when you are tempted.

4. Stop feeding your lus+. Get rid of anything in your home that triggers this lus+.

[charisbarak]

The counsel you gave & reiterated by Elwood O'Dell is perfect. I would encourage him that he can be healed, to get into counseling, safeguard his home, office & car & get rid of things that cause him to fall. Get into the Word, instead, daily---memorize scripture. Feed yourself this rather than those negative things.

Don't be where you may fall. Say no & turn off the tv or the internet. At the beach---swim!

[Stan]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

First you must not condemn him but reassure him that He is not alone Jesus loves him inspite of his sin and wants to save him. Let him know that you are therefor him when he needs you and that you will pray with and for him on a daily basis and more if he desires.

You can protect your self with filters from you security system that stops windows from opening up for youself as well as for your children. You can have your keep the place where you use your computor out in the open where you will be aware that others can see what you are doing when doing searches.

At the beach or pool side you shouldalways be with someone that will help you and that you feel free in sharing the concerns that you have. Let the word of God dwell in you richly will remind you that to look on another can be **** and will let you know through the Spirit that you are needing repenance and will keep your mind from wandering.

On your t.v. cancel all channels that can lead you to stray. Most t.v's nodays have a feature call favorites use these to select only family channels for viewing.

[Lion of Grace]

First, I would let my brother or sister know that they are not alone. I have overcome that addiction. I would seek to find out if there really is a deep desire to overcome as a result of knowing a deep sorrow for being trapped in it and how displeasing that lifestyle is to God. I would counsel the love of Christ and the truth of salvation through His blood and help the person find forgiveness. Forgiveness through Christ and that He is the way to forgive themselves.

I would counsel for daily Bible readings...especially ones for forgiveness and hope and for daily prayer to the Holy Spirit to help in their struggle.

I would counsel for an accountability partner and church fellowship that is understanding and who truly loves them and has compassion on them. One who they are safe with talking about their struggles and who understand there will be failures and setbacks. I would advise that anything that tempts them to be drawn back into it be removed from their home and to avoid places that would cause them to fall. I would teach how to renew their minds and how to block thoughts as soon as they start and encourage this discipline . I would be available 24/7 in cases of emergency and pledge to give my all to see a brother or sister free. It takes great strength to overcome any addiction and help is needed. Not in a condemning way..but in support and love and encouragement. I would pray, pray, pray them through!

I would also know that there are hidden issues that would be needed to be uncovered and hurts that would need to be healed. This takes time and unconditional love and listening. I would help them to understand that God is for them and desires to see them whole and that nothing will stop Him from healing them if they seek Him with all their heart. That He will be faithful to complete in them what they desire in healing.....even though at times it will feel hopeless and like all is lost. That's when I would pick them up and see them through. I thank God for those who carried me through so many addictions, destructive behaviors towards myself and failures......knowing my desire was to be free and live!

There can be security blocks put on internet usage and I would advise this......but great moments of freedom and huge strides are seen when one can personally say "no" to themselves and not click on of their own accord. It's a victory when one can go out and have a big old "burn" party too!

God Bless!

[JustJeff]

Is it ok for a delivered alcoholic to have "a little nightcap" ? How about a delivered drug addict a "taste"? Any addiction requires deliverance and then, abstinence. In any other approach that makes concessions you will find temptation that may be to great to take a chance. Are you willing to go back to your former self and destroy more lives, including yourself?1Peter 2:11 was intended for this situation.

In 2 Cor 6:17 the Spirit admonished us not to touch the unclean thing. For those of us who have been sexually addicted we need to realize that the price of our freedom has been paid at a great price. How can we risk it all by allowing ourselves to be tempted? We cannot. It is necessary to flee temptation and not tempt the devil. It's the price we have to pay for our liberty.

[masika]

- Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with ***********? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

I will tell him that temptation can happen to anyone, so he should not feel that he has been single out with that problem of ***********. I will keep telling him that other people have resisted this kind of problem and so he can. I will tell him to read 1 Corinthians 10:13, any temptation can be resisted because God will show us a away out, God will aid him in resisting temptation by helping him.

How I can protect myself from temptation over the Internate, is by -recognizing those sides like *********** to avoid watching those sides.

- I should also run from anything I know is wrong.

- I should choose to do what is right.

- I should pray for God

[PATJOE]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

Advice to a sufferer of *********** addiction would be 1) prayer asking for God's strength and guidance to not want this element in their life any longer; 2) ridding their home of everything that offers temptation, including blocking access to electronic **** by phone, TV and internet.

You can block access on the internet; stay away from beaches and pools until your inner person is whole again; and stay away or block all TV channels offering temptation.

[JanMary]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

1)It's not likely that a brother would share this with me since I'm a female, but I learned in Christian 12 step work for co dependents, that the greatest hindrance to getting free from an addiction is to keep it secret. When others have shared about various addictions, I've thanked them for trusting me with their burden, and told them that they are not alone in their addiction and that help is available in a variety of places. "Every Man's Battle", by Steven Arterburn is an excellent resource for sexual and p*rn addiction. I think that is where I'd start, by suggesting he become informed about the nature of this addiction and the resources for help listed in the book. I have prayed on the spot, when appropriate, with the one sharing the burden, asking the Lord to wrap His loving arms around the individual, and to bring them deliverance, freedom and wholeness, and to set them free from the shame and guilt which feeds the addiction, and to lead them to the place of His choosing for their recovery and deliverance. Then I pray regularly for them in my prayer closet.

2)There are filters available to filter out por* which I heard about at church, from Christian resources, but I didn't have a computer at the time and didn't write the information down. I've heard from others with children who use computers, that to place the computer in a public place in the home is also a deterent, so that others walking by can see what is on the screen, and this helps to keep one accountable, rather than holing up in a private place where temptation is greater. Men tend to be less forthcoming about these things, but my Pastor talks about how important it is to have another guy to hold one accountable....to give him permission to ask the tough questions and to pray for one another. We don't get free by ourselves, or in a vacuum. When Lazarus came out bound by the grave clothes, Jesus told his disciples to unwrap him and set him free. I love that picture of our brothers and sisters assisting us to come out of our bondage, in a loving and gentle way.

3)There are filters for t.v. to screen out objectionable programs and movies. I was scrolling through the dial one night when I was unable to go to sleep and ran across a vile, homosexual act going on in a movie. That picture is seared into my brain! The next day we made changes to what channels we will allow to come into our home. That was a Showtime late night movie, and we cancelled Showtime.

4) If one has a problem with lus* at the beach or the pool, I think to pray beforehand for the Lord to guard the heart, confessing the tendency or temptation to lus*, and asking for his help. We are told to guard the heart, and the eyes, because we have an enemy, and prayer is the guard...the blood of Jesus is a shield. Wisdom says to avoid the places where we fall into sin. I was counseled as a young believer, to RUN from tempation and "when Satan knocks at the door, to send Jesus to answer". That advice has "saved" me a number of times.

[Dar]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy?

1. I would share with the brother scriptures that would enlighten him or her (this isn't just a man thing) what a wonderful gift sex is to us. But, because the brother has channelled this desire in the wrong way, he has opened doors to Satan, fulfilling only the desires of the flesh.

2. I would share with the brother God's words of grace, mercy, and power, on how to be an overcomer. We all need this power to overcome, for if it wasn't for the grace of God, there go I.

3. I would ask if the brother would like to be free of this power the flesh has over him, for that would tell me how to pray. I would hope the reason the brother shared with me was because he knows first hand the hold pornogra+phy has on him, and no longer feels the joy that comes with pleasing the Father. This would be the first step to recovery.

I do believe PORNAGRAP*Y can have a strong hold on any person who opens the door to it. I would suggest the person speak to a pastor, one who has been trained in this area; This is after we shared the word of God and had prayer together. There is power in prayer, if we ask in faith.

How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

I think the best protection against the fleshly desires of this world is, be in the Word, hide God's word in our hearts, so we don't sin against Him, so we don't open doors to Satan.

We must desire to crucify the flesh, and we cannot do it by hidding away. To be an overcomer is a process; This means, as testings come, be what they may, we are ready, because that is our hearts desire! We have the Holy Spirit to help us, but remember, we have to do it.

The world is full of all kinds of fleshly desires, there are so many testings for the Christian to face. Lets prepare our hearts and get out there and OVERCOME the flesh! Remember, we have the power of the Holy Spirit, God's gift to us. If we fail, we can get up and try again, it is called REPENTANCE, and it is followed by God's grace, and His mercy we have in Christ Jesus.

[Lisa Rupert]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside.

How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

How I would teach a brother who has trouble with *********** is by helping him to understand the value of a person's worth is not found in sexuality. I would direct him into scripture that will help him deal with his inner man and I would try to seek counsel for him from a clergyman, pastor, priest, etc.... But I would be supportive of his effort and try to be a friend.

I being a female would have to direct him to someone who would understand his position dealing with this issue because women aren't stimulated sexually from viewing *********** the same way men are, so I believe this would put me in a disadvantage. But I would do what I try to introduce him to counsel and guidance from a male who would understand his situation better than I would.

I would protect myself by first realizing the vaule of a human life, that a person isn't a sexual creature, instead try to view this person as a human with many qualities that aren't sexual qualities. I protect myself from *********** on the internet by not viewing mail that I receive from these sources and trying to block them from my world as much as I possibly can, even though they slip through the filters from time to time, I delete them and get rid of them. At the beach or the poolside, I view people as works of art, a picture that God created in it's beauty, not in a sexual way, which will devalue that person, but in an artistic way, the way I believe God created all his children for their beauty, because in his eyes we are all beautiful and that is the way we should each view each other.

For the TV I just don't watch what disgust me, and *********** disgust me so I just change the channel. But women aren't stimulated sexually from viewing *********** in the same way that men are so I guess this puts me at an advantage.

[Lunga]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

You need to be honest with yourself first if you really want yourself out of this trouble. Because God knows your heart.

Confess your sins to God for he is faithful and just to wipe all your sins. He will definately help you out of this.

You need to take a step forward and stop watching ponography and try by all means to replace they ponography by reading the bible. Give yourself time with the Lord and do not forget to testify that you are free from the sin of ponography. Keep meditating the word of God. Nothing overpowers the word of God.

Avoid going to the internet and keep yourself busy with the word of God.

You meditate the scriptures against ****.

With your T.V. avoid bad channel and put on gospel channels.

[June]

First, I would explain that it is a sickness. An addiction that needs to be eradicated. It can be just as destructive as any addiction, only this is a spiritual one that needs God's Grace to overcome. Every time the desire comes, get the Bible and read it and pray for release of these strongholds. Seek professional help through Pastor or Counselor.

Internet: filter out the junk.

T.V.: Have the willpower to turn off the set or change the channel. God gave us all freedom to choose.

Beach/ Poolside: Train your eyes to look elsewhere. Pray that God will not let you to see the junk. Look in another direction or leave.

[sahala p.s.]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

I would counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with *********** by the following way. Firstly, I would convince him that this kind of **** is wrong by telling him what the Bible says and what problems to his spiritual lives it causes, so that he must stop it. Secondly, I would tell him it is not easy to do and it takes a long period of time to make him whole inside but he must take determination; thirdly I would tell that to stop feeding his ****, he must get rid of and avoid anything that trigger this ****. Instead, he must fill his mind and heart with anything that make him increasingly close to God, such as reading the Bible and spiritual books, listening spiritual songs, etc.; Fourthly, I would tell that he must pray continually that God give him strength to stop it and live holy.; Fifthly, I would tell that he do not be desperate if he fall and sin again, but come to God to have His forgiveness, and then continue the efforts to stop ****.

I can protect myself against temptation over the Internet in a way that firstly, I must not try to click the links that I know they are related to ***********; secondly, if I accidentally have clicked a link that shows ***********, I must immediately cut it off, if not, I will be attracted to continue to enjoy it and cannot stop it, and then one time I enjoy it I will be addicted to it again.

I can protect myself against temptation at the beach or poolside in a way that firstly, I must move to other place if I see that there are women that wear bikini so that it can generate my ****; secondly if there I can busy with my active activity such as swimming, I keep doing my activity, but after finishing my activity, I must immediately go from there, not resting there.

I can protect myself against temptation with my TV in a way that firstly, I only set my TV the channels that do not show *********** in they main programs; secondly, if the channel I am watching show ***********, I must shift to other channels, do not try to watch it, one time I enjoy it I will be addicted to it again

[jjj]

As we are advised it is about bringing God into everything that we do. If we are caught in the web of temptation if we ask the hOly Spirit to help us to take away the desire to watch certain programs on tv. To draw the boundary line for us. I would pray with those that would want to curb an appetitite. We are not alone God and man can support us in the worldly temptations

[Patricia A]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28)

Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with ***********?

1. Daily reading of God

[mags]

I would tell him that God still loves him and that he has made the first step in leaving his sinful nature behind. I would tell him that 'all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God'.

You can protect yourself by removing those images and asking God to help you. Turn the TV off, get a internet protection programme - spend more time in getting to know what pleases God and keep your focus towards Him and He will convict you of the things he wants you to deal with.

[lulu 1931]

I would first tell him to ask for giveness from God then seek counciling from people trained to help people like him. I would show my love and support to him and invite him to attend church with me and talk to my minister.

When you are tempted over the internet or Tv you can always delete or change the station..at the beach or pool you can always leave and find another place to enjoy the sun.

You are athe one controlling your choices..make the right one!!!

[jabarke]

This seems to be one of the biggest kept secrets in the Church today. Christians that struggle with por******** & lus*. It is one of those sins that carries so much shame with it that we keep it a secret because what our Christian brothers & sisters would think of us. So the problem grows & keeps us ineffectual in furthering God's Kingdom. For some of us it is a "dabbling" & for others of us it is a full blown addiction. Either way it is an extremely negative force in our lives. It is probably one of Satan's most effective tools to keeping us carnal & unable to experience "the joy of the Lord" & from bearing fruit. We try to "make up" for it by doing more things at church thinking if we serve God more he will forgive us. When all He wants is for us to be broken over it & admit it is a sin & a problem in our life we cannot overcome without God's grace. One of the most effective things I have done is to meet on a weekly basis with a couple of Christian brothers & we hold each other accountable in several areas, one being por********. It has helped me greatly & stopped me in my tracks on a number of occasions knowing I would have to report back to my brothers that I had sinned in this area. I am saddened, however, that most men in the church continue to ignore, downplay or suffer silently in dealing with the issue of por******** & lus*. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we are still very judgmental as Christians & catagorize sins into varying degrees of "badness". This makes it very difficult for us to confront this issue & a healing manner. Could we announce in our churches that there will be a Bible study on Wednesday nights for those who battle por******** & lus*?? Could a minister or church leader announce from the pulpit that they struggle in this area? How then do we approach this problem that, I believe, is much more prevalent in the Church than most of us think?

[love.serve.know]

Because I am an elderly female I don't think it would be appropriate for me to counsel a man on these issues. If a male came to me with these issues, I would refer him to a male accountability partner.

[UncleBlake]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

This is a very difficult sin to deal with, because in the United States, this sort of thing is looked at as not all that important...America's dirty little secret as it were. In un-burdening onesself of the sins of ****, one gives it over to Jesus. In doing so, we find the solace that Jesus Himself proclaims, "...come unto me all you who are weak and heavy ladden, and I will give you rest.."(Matthew 11:28). In counseling a brother who has a addiction to ****, it is important to not be legalistic, but to emphasize that Jesus Loves him/her, and His grace is sufficient for him/her no matter what sin has been comitted. If he is a brother already, he will know that all one has to do to be forgiven is repent, and accept God's gift of Grace and Mercy.

In protecting onesself against yielding to lusts, one must firstly rely on Jesus, and secondly take steps to remove the possibility of the temptation. This goes for the beach, the poolside, and TV, among various other outlets.