Pastor Ralph Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elwood C O'Dell Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Be there for that person as a friend. Do not act as their judge, just simply be there to remind them that God still loves them and that He is still the one who repairs broken hearts, minds and souls. Walk with them through their valley doing your best to allow God to love them through you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabatha Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? I am in agreement with Elwood. I have two friends who were divorced because of abuse. The wife was drawen to a beautiful Christian man, (She to is a christian) They became friends and through this they were healed. They both came to me for counsel in what to do because they felt to remarry. My counsel was I could not say yes or no. This was between them and God. I am an ordained minister I prayed with them and God put so much love in my heart for them. I continued to pray God' would give them the right answer. After a year of staying pure They came to me again for my blessing. I took them in a prayer of repentance, They wept on their faces before God and repented of their sin of divorece. There was such peace and the presence of God's forgiveness. They were married two years ago, The new husband is teaching hurting and broken people. They have a bible study with so many needy hurting people. The past is in the past. Praise God. for a new start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy Decker Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? None of us can judge another's marriage or failures in marriage for it is a matter for God as He only knows the hearts of both and the whole story. The ones I know who are divorced do not want divorce in their lives, but for various reasons or happenings did divorce. It seems they want to be understood and made to feel they were doing the best they could and felt their reasons were valid. So the only thing I know to do, is to listen, understand what I can, pray for them and the children affected by all of this, and support the one who is a friend to me...I really cannot know and do not want to know the truth behind the divorce, but I do know God is forgiving and will help them make good come out of even a divorce if they ask Him to help them do so. Unfortunately many divorced persons I know jump right into another relationship, before healing has taken place, which to me is risky...and the shoulder they cry on may not be able to handle the situation with the wisdom and love of God's kind....which would be healing. The only way I know to help them is to love them as they are and help them if they need me, and to support them emotionally by listening and praying with them and just be a friend to them...in His love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charisbarak Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Love them, encourage them, be a good friend and pray pray pray! Same as above, only help them to see God can and will forgive them if they ask, repent and desire to live godly lives--in His will from that day forth! Pray pray pray! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sisterlily Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 As brothers and sisters in Christ we need to show love to our friends and their children of divorce. Always keeping in mind that we are all sinners in need of forgiveness for many different things in this life. Be kind and extra loving to those in need of knowing the compassion of Christ so that they can move forward in their life towards the growing love of God instead of away. Remembering that Christ did not come to condemn but to save and through His Grace we have forgiveness and healing that we would never understand on our own. Be His light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleBlake Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? Christ's earthly example teaches us to be compassionate on those who are hurting. In God's infinite capacity to love, He does not condemn us once we repent. It is of the utmost importance to bring Jesus' message of Grace and Mercy to those who seek to know God's will after a divorce. It is also our duty as brothers and sisters in Christ to reassure our "siblings" that Jesus loves them, and forgives them...not just the ones that have divorced, but all who have sinned, and as Romans 3:23 says, we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. No one, by thier own reason or strength can save themselves, that is God alone, and in Jesus Christ, we have been justified by Grace and Mercy, the same Grace and Mercy we, as Christians are called to show to others. There in lies our mission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustJeff Posted February 14, 2008 Report Share Posted February 14, 2008 We are to give love, that is compassion and understanding. It is best to pray with the couple and take them to the scritures. Let the Word do His job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? 1)Can I just be truthful and say I wish Your first statement were always true pastor Ralph? But I believe that is the Lord's desire and commission for the church....it just doesn't always happen. My family has been deeply wounded by the church, and we have forgiven and moved on. My answer to your question was arrived at sort of like David in "The Tale Of Three Kings", where he learned how to be a good king by learning what not to do as he was mistreated and harassed by Saul, who was then King over Israel. I can support, with love and acceptance, without taking sides, or giving unasked for advice. I can offer encouragement and a listening ear, holding what I hear in strictest confidence and much prayer. Having been judged and looked down on by Christians, because I was divorced as a young woman, though I'd been abandoned by a sex, gambling addict, before I became a Christian. I was most healed and helped by those who just loved and accepted me...I didn't have to jump through hoops. One of the most kind things done for me, was a call from a Bible Study leader as I was preparing to answer questions on divorce and remarriage, in a study of Matthew 33 years ago....She knew I'd been divorced and might feel condemned (brand new baby Christian, and my first Bible Study experience). She reminded me that I was accepted in the Beloved and that my sins were covered by His blood, and encouraged me to shuck off any feelings of condemnation, as there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.....What a gift that was, and I offer the same to others who may be in a similar situation...or any other situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? All you can do is to listen when they want to talk, share the things that you have gone through and offer your prayers and support. God is the true healer and only He can save a marriage. I have many friend that have divorced, and have shared with them that I also have been divorced I never critize them and only offer advice when they ask. I pray that soon Jesus will come back and heal the world by removing sin forever but till then our burden will be to pray and seek Him and His righteousness and that can only be done when we love our neighbor as our selves. If you love your neighbor as you are commanded you can not judge them only share the love of Christ as He has shown us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don W Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 I wonder if this question started out as a misprint because I think that it would be more accurate to say: “The church has not always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred.” This Bible study participants have given several examples of this and I could add one more of my own. When my ex-wife was looking for a way out of her marriage to me, she seek some church members until she finally found one who told her that it was “okay to go through with the divorce” (probably because this woman had gone through with one herself and felt that what was okay for her was okay for others, too) and I didn’t get any help from any of the three pastors of the church either. In fact, one even told me that we could not confront her about her sin because he wasn’t going to act as if he were “Scripture police” against her sin and not another’s sin. He misused the verse on not judging another’s sin—at least that’s what I thought he meant by this statement. Anyway, I left that church (for other reasons, too, but the main one was the lack of any church discipline in it) after my wife divorced and deserted me—which really turned out alright anyway because I ended up in a smaller but much more loving church family. But they weren’t supportive at all to me before, during or after my wife left me. And I think that, unfortunately, there are many churches today, as this one is that are not supporting hurting and caring people. I would sure try to be much more supportive of the hurting person than the unnamed church we use to attend! And that wouldn't be very hard to do at all!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mags Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 We are not called to judge one another. We have no right to judge others and should never put our opinions on to other people (forcefully). We need to show LOVE for that is the greatest command. If we condemn and judge we will turn people away from the Kingdom of God. We need to comfort and support that person without judgement and condemnation. We need to be there to listen and to wrap our arms around them. Jesus would want us to love and care for them. It is later when the hurt isn't so raw and the emotions aren't so high that true healing can take place. It is when they get to this point that they are ready to receive teaching and need led to repent of the divorce. It is part of the closure they will seek but they may not actively seek God's forgiveness because they may not realise they need it - especially if they are the ones that were left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love.serve.know Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 I can be a friend to someone who is struggling. I can help healing by not acting like a Pharisee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masika Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? As a Church we are to encourage the couple the importance of marriage and what The Bible say about marriage. God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meandean Posted March 7, 2008 Report Share Posted March 7, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? first, be a listener. don't run off at the mouth from our own experience. let the hurt come out. and pray so the lord would hear and ask for words to give. wait patiently and when asked what to do, then give the word of god and see if you can pray for that person right then and there. then continually lift that person to the lord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loisb Posted March 13, 2008 Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? 1. We can be understanding and not judge the person who is struggling in his/her marriage. We don't know what that person may be going through, so we can't judge. 2. You should be there for them. Listen and patiently try to understand their problems. We could give our opinion if they ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hwelch Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I'm late to this and I know it, but I felt I wanted to add something to this discussion. I think Dr. Wilson added this question because he knows that many have been hurt by how the "church" has responded to a divorce or couples that are having marital difficulties. He wanted all of us to think about how to help someone in this situation. My marriage has been a troubled one for almost the whole 25 years I've been in it because of verbal abuse of me and the children. I've learned over time that forgiveness is the only way to get through and that includes forgiveness of the "church" which includes the entire body, not just the head. There is too much pain involved for the body to be able to avoid also causing pain. I have been incredibly hurt by my church and yet I stuck with my church family and sought outside help for my marriage. In time, my church family through watching me and my marriage actually brought in the outside counselor I had found and it transformed the body. When my marriage faltered again 5 years later, my church body was a little bit more able to support me, but I was still hurt. In situations like mine you can literally split a church because there is abusive behavior, but the abuser professes to be a believer and doesn't think what he is doing is wrong. I can find people to support me and he can find people to support him. The pastor is pastor over all these people - it's a narrow road. I've been at this church for 10 years and I care about all the people there, but the bottom line is that for anyone in this situation in their marriage, counsel has to come from the Holy Spirit and those around the person need to direct them to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God and just let them know that they care. Let the Holy Spirit and Jesus give the counsel because there isn't one of us that can speak to the incredible pain and all the nuances and "issues" involved in each individual marriage. The judgemental approach tends to send people into rebellion, rather than rescue them from it. For me, I have learned to always think about how Jesus would speak and respond to a person before I open my mouth and stick my foot in it. Sometimes separation is necessary which was touched on briefly. I would encourage all of you to search out the Word on that. A separation with the intent to bring the other person who professes to be a believer back in line with the Word of God, is the step I was finally led to take through Godly counsel and the Holy Spirit. It was incredibly difficult and I lived in 1 Peter during that incredibly hard time, but where there is willfull and continual disobedience to the Word of God, this is a step that may be necessary. (Examples that come to mind would be refusal to stop adultery, physical or verbal abuse). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 13, 2008 Report Share Posted April 13, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? Be loving and understanding. Be a good listener and don't judge them, regardless of what went wrong in the marriage. As a body of Christ, we should be aware of the hurt in the other members and in order for His body to function effectively, we should be there for the hurting and depressed people by spending quality time with them, praying with them, offering counselling from God's word and interceding for them as well. God wants us to serve each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iam4-1god Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? What I can do is pray for that one who is hurting and looking for answers. I can also have Scripture ready so that I can show them what The word says about their situation. And I can lead them to repentence by showing them that confessing and asking for forgiveness with a contrite heart to The Lord Jesus, and then let the healing begin. It is only through confessing and having faith in Jesus that we can be forgiven, and then be healed. Life will go on, but it can only get better when we confess and believe that we are forgiven. The hardest part is us forgiving ourselves. When we realize that Jesus forgives us, then everything else falls into place. God is ssooooo Good-all the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissioned Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? The thread that binds us together is love. As brothers and sisters in Christ we are our rother's keepers and in such cases of divorce we must extend love to each party, and refrain from being judgmental. As much as the Lord allows us us should be there to bring healing to the situation, encouraging reconciliation; but when reconciliation is not forthcoming we should support them in the decision that is made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindap Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? I have a friend who is going thur a divorce at this time. She started the divorce. Not because of unfaithfulness, but because she could no longer live with someone who would not protect her from painful acts and words from his adult children. Only God knows how this will turn out and it is to him I must help her turn. I wish she could see and feel the love of God for her and the love God intends for her to show other people. I must also show her the love of God as written in scripture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jr4624 Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? I would try to help them to understand that God wants for their marriage to continue and be for life. I would also want to reassure them that God is bigger than any problem and that anything can be overcome with His help. Lastly, they need to know that they will have the love and support of myself and other brothers and sisters in Christ. We should know that it isn't for us to judge them, only to love them. All I can do is love them and assure them that God still loves them and still wants an intimate, one-to-one love relationship with them. He understands what it's like to be human (Jesus lived 33 years or so on earth in human form), and will forgive us if we falter as long as we confess our sins and repent. 1John 1:9 says:" But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness"NLT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lory Posted August 24, 2009 Report Share Posted August 24, 2009 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? 1.What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? First thing would be to pray to God for wisdom and strength for myself and the two individuals. Take time for them, be present with them and let them know you care. Be willing to listen to their pain, comfort them in their sorrow, pray without ceasing. Extend mercy and lead them back to the truth about the love and will of God. (Many husbands and wives don't understand what God's marriage is about, it's so much different than the world's idea) SEcond thing, ask the Pastor of your church to put on a Rekindling Marriage retreats, give them a chance to rediscover their dreams from their youth, talk things out, confess what's hurting, learn to listen, learn to take an interest in your spouse again, how to make the most of their marriage, that they are ONE, not two, etc. There should be no judgement or guilt trips layed on them, give them time to heal and let God do His mighty work. God's mighty power can deliver us from any problem if we are willing to start again and forgive. Some people have deeply rooted wounds from the past that are covered with so much layers of dead skin, only God truly understands and can save them. 2.What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? Allow the hope of Christ to keep filling their lives. Keep extending love and compassion towards them and all those who have gone astray, all sin is the same to God. Keep encouaraging one another towards the love and Truth of God that's in Christ Jesus. We have all fallen short of the glory of God, there is not one person in this world without sin. Whenever one feels so holy and wonderful, we must always remember that all of us had to come to the feet of Jesus, we who have been saved must also be willing to extend the same mercy as God has shown us. God showed us that we were bankrupt, our hearts were far away from Him, where before we were dead without hope, but now we have been given the hope of Jesus Christ that lives in us. All things are possible with God. Glory and praise be to God! Amen! God bless, Lory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaiden Rochelle Posted August 12, 2010 Report Share Posted August 12, 2010 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? We are told to bear one anothers burdens, so it is good if we are there to listen to someone who is going through a difficult time. This doesn't meant we should gossip about what that person told us. Instead, after listening to him or to her, we should reassure that person that God still loves them and is with them. Also, it is good to study together with that person particular passages in the Bible to reaffirm this statement. Above all, it is always good to pray with that person because sometimes they are hurt so bad that it is difficult for them to pray. Actually, loving one another is part of what we are told to do throughout the Bible, and we should not avoid the ones who are having marital trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raph Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Q6. The Church has always been supportive of those who are hurting or scarred. In Christ, we help people make the best of what is sometimes a difficult situation. What can you do to extend Christ's healing love to someone who is struggling in his or her marriage? What can you do to bring healing to someone who is or was divorced? In both such situations what I can do is to comfort the people involved and try to reflect with them the teachings of the Word on marriage. I will also advise them to seek proffessional counselling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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