Pastor Ralph Posted October 21, 2009 Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Diotrephes was an ego maniac who liked to lead, put himself first, did not acknowledge John's authority as an Elder Apostle in the church, refused to listen and to take suggestions. He "boiled over"....rage?, cast malicious accusations about others, refused to welcome missionaries, and forbade those who did, even to excommunicating them from the church. He had a controlling, manipulative spirit, which is the spirit of witchcraft, rather than the Holy Spirit operating in him. Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? Yes, of course, if he/she seeks to remain humble and pliable in God's Hand... The only way a person CAN be a strong pastoral leader is to NOT develop these traits. This question gave me chills! As I was getting ready to answer this question, a friend called to ask me to pray, as their pastor is exhibiting every trait listed about Diotrephes, and as an Elder in that church, he and the others are having to deal with the mess created by this self centered, egotistical pastor who said "I cannot change....I will not change", and shows no remorse over slandering others, and forcing people out of the church who disagree with him...one was fired for asking if they could pray as a church before making huge decisions about a building project. If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Through confession, and repentance and prayer...submission to the Holy Spirit's control and surrender to Christ. (1 John 1:9) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickledilly Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 What a dreadful character, and I think I have met a few versions of this man in the past! He was puffed up with self-importance and arrogant toward those in authority over him. He was probably very pious and "religious", but obviously without the love and humility that validate genuine Christianity. He was a malicious gossip, spreading slanderous lies about the apostles. He was a control-freak, filled with intolerant pride that most likely dismissed anyone else's opinion/interpretation/ideas. And he presented a cold shoulder to the godly teachers who passed through his area, not only refusing to offer hospitality but stopping other Christians from doing so. I imagine he had himself on such a pedestal that he expected people to do for him what he was unwilling to do for others. His selfish, volatile behavior actually serves to reveal the immature spiritual level of an insecure man who felt threatened. This is the kind of person who gives Christians a bad name. I imagine that the tendency to develop these traits is quite common. The roots of any of them are inherent in all of us. And after all, pastors are still human. Positions of authority can easily foster such negative attributes. But the challenge is to abide in Christ as an overcomer who deals with them and reigns them in under His authority. Someone who is being controlled by the flesh rather than being in control of the flesh might come on strong, but can't possibly be a powerfully effective pastoral leader. In my experiences of leadership, any plan for successfully fighting these characteristics down requires maintaining humility before the LORD, staying in the Word and speaking it to yourself, consistently seeking the Spirit's leading and conviction, and making yourself accountable to someone trustworthy who has your permission to tell you when you're getting off track. It demands the frequent return to Scripture's description of genuine Christianity, which is all about love, unity, peace, servanthood, and humility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charisbarak Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 He was overbearing, controlling, selfish, and self-centered. Yes, most definitely. Power in leadership is a huge temptation, but as in other temptations, it can be overcome. First recognize the tendency, confess and work to let God change my heart. My thoughts need to be constantly on Him and think of others before myself. I also need to know whatever I have achieved, it is all because of what God did in me and through me. I am nothing without Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbaby55 Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 My husband and I have just have this happened in our church. He said he has the authority to tell whom and when we can go to the altar and pray. God made a way 2 years ago for another minister to be appointed there but the sr. one says he is in "command" and final say on everything. I approached him and said he was wrong in what he did that he was angry toward us, also what few members are left (15) are so intimidated they won't even go to the altar to pray unless he tells them to. After this happend 3/4 of the members confided in us of their displeasure but they are all too intimidated to make the changes. He told me he will not back down he was right in what he did. He told us we were not permitted to come and pray for our dear friend on night at the altar. This is just one event in our church, there are so many more numerous ones, he will not announce various functions at other churches in our district. I am the missionary director he will not let me have missionaries in. The only other ministers he allows are those that he choses from his circle of friends in another state. Today is an upsetting day, the first day we have stayed home from church but I can't serve God under his leadership. I hate it that I am letting my church family down but I feel I must stand firm. I know my God will provide the way, I have asked the Lord to show me scriptures I need and your email is what I read. He is confirming my suspisions. I just don't know where to go from here, the burden is great for Gods church. Please you all pray for My husband and I that God will show us the right thing to do. Wanda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iam4-1god Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? We all have character flaws to some degree. Sometimes I am selfish, sometimes I am overbearing-you get the drift. I have to fight the erge to be controlling every day. But only the Spirit within me can and does remind me that without Christ, I am nothing, and I can do nothing. I praise God that He is alive in me, and that He is leading me and teaching me! Gloray! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?He is an unyielding, self-centered, power-mongering control freak, who has supplanted Jesus saying, "no one comes to the Father except through me" — after all "I know best" Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?Certainly, but it takes humility, selflessness and prayer. If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?First of all you have to recognize your faults, and have a teachable heart. Repentance, prayer and submission to God's leading can then bear fruit. Click HERE to sponsor a child today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissioned Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? The character flaws Diotrephes exhibits are pride, a controlling spirit, intolerance of others who appear to have power and he removes opposing opponents. Pastors can perform in a leadership capacity without the flaws of Diotrephes. A Pastor who operates with a humble spirit will draw people to him and not drive them away. To ward of pride and a controlling spirit we must walk in love and humility remembering that we are all on a mission to complete a work for Christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Diotrephes was not that different to many that are in authoritative roles in the church today, one just needs to look at all the divisions and disunity in the church. Pride is an evil that is often difficult to overcome,in fact it is a natural tendency, and is to be greatly sought according to world standards. We need to be humble in our approach to pride,always putting the needs, both physical and emotional, of others before that of our own. We must submit ourselves to the will of God and in His love we will find unity and true fellowship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Pride is an issue that we all have to deal with, and in certain ways it can be a good if not necessary trait. Being aware of the feelings and expectations of those around us, through love should always be in the fore front of our thoughts, and in doing this, being humble will eventually become a normal emotion in our lives. We only need to look at those that are less fortunate than us, to see how blessed we are, so step back when pride seems to be gaining the upper hand and look beyond your comfort zone to the needs of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionbait Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? How easy it is to fall into the role that he did, selfish wanting to be in control, we must at all times keep our sights set on Jesus, constant companionship, looking always to the Saviour for tenderness and leadership. We the redeemed of Jesus are set free, and as free blood bought children of Jesus Christ let us always diplay love and forgiveness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marloes Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Diotrephes was a proud man. For egoistic motives he wanted to be in control. Not because he wanted to serve Jesus by leading the church how it should be done. He was like the powerhungry angel who tried to commit a mutiny in heaven - just to be the boss. No! A good pastor has good social skills and knowledge of the Bible. With this, he helps people to walk with Jesus. It is not about manipulating people to get all power. Ask God for help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millie Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Both the heart and mouth must be watched. The temper and spirit of Diotrephes was full of pride and ambition. It is bad not to do good ourselves; but it is worse to hinder those who would do good. Those cautions and counsels are most likely to be accepted, which are seasoned with love. Follow that which is good, for he that doeth good, as delighting therein, is born of God. Evil-workers vainly pretend or boast acquaintance with God. Let us not follow that which is proud, selfish, and of bad design, though the example may be given by persons of rank and power; but let us be followers of God, and walk in love, after the example of our Lord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Diotrephes tends to be a 'control freak' who has to have his own way, and the final word. He will think that he is always right. I think that underneath, he really feels insecure, for he will not allow anyone else of equal or superior status to come near him. Yes, a person can become a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits, but he would need to submit and humble himself daily to Christ. Tendencies towards pride and a controlling spirit need to be fought against. Ask God for help and be guided by Him. Confess your need of God and love Him and others more than you love yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Q4 Diotrephes sought self glorification. His focus is more of self than of God. He wanted attention. This showed that he was insecure. He displayed showmanship. He did not have the qualities of what a leader should be. When God is with you who can be against you. He will strengthen you for He has formed you in the palm of His hand. God chose us and when He called He will put words in your mouth as in 1 Samuel 3 when He called Samuel to do His work. Rely on God rather than on men. Jesus did not called the learned as His Apostles but rather the simple fishermen with no high education. Leaders are always observed by people, especially the young who looked up on them and if they (leaders) do not know how to conduct themselves then the young will be lead astray. Instead of doing good, more harm will be done. When we do God's work we do not seek material reward fort God will bless us. Pride is a sickness. If we allow pride and controlling spirit to dwell in us then we are not doing God's will but our own. We cannot last, and will definitely fall and this will lead to resentment and anger. Many leaders fell into the trap of spiritual pride. If we are called to be leaders, we must sensitive to people who reached out to us and our behaviour and character must be of God's approval. Leaders are being watched and we need to conduct ourselves properly. Prayers, discernment and guidance of the Spirit is our strength. It is best recommended that we have a spiritual director to check us on our spiritual walk with God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul H Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Self centred, domineering and wanting to be in control and a gossiping slanderer. Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? Yes. A person can be a strong leader without being self centred or domineering and certainly without being a gossip. I suppose that having other people look up to you as a leader might tend to fill you with your own self importance, which might lead to these traits, but I don't think that leadership necessarily leads to these traits. If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Look at the example of Christ and remember what Christ said to His disciples that "whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all" (Mark 9:35) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion of Grace Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Diotrephes had character traits of being prideful, self centered, controlling, manipulative and slanderous. Can strong leadership have these traits? Absolutely! And....are probably more tempted to subcome to these temptations, because so many people look up to them and they can lose sight of it's not them, but God that is leading. I'm always so grateful for a servant leader, who readily admits to being human and who won't pretend to know everything! One who walks with God daily and is teachable themselves. I love leadership that esteems others over themselves and seeks for the good of others. That takes out a lot of the self importance that seeps into leadership sometimes. And that self important attitude keeps others out that God sends in! God intends for us to see and help others who many people naturally don't see and recognize in their worth. Not just the worth of the leadership they come to! How do we overcome this in ourselves? Remembering what Jesus taught and remaining humble in knowing who we are and how much we have been saved from. To remember if we don't serve out of a true love in our hearts, we are only performing duties that lead to self importance. Love always puts others first and self last and waits for reward from God not man. So it doesn't matter about "position" or "being in charge of" anything. It's about raising others up and watching them grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C Riv Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? He wants to be first.He wants to be recognised with importance. He has a loose tongue that is not under control. In these he is showing he has no love, instead he is show casing his apostolic authority.Yes a person can be a strong pastoral leader without developing those traits. We have to cotinually submit to God, repent, and stay in Christ as He will stay in us. In this He will guide and teach us. We cannot do this alone. God needs to be with us all our day, not just a part of it. In all we do, lets`take it to the Lord.In doing this we will not have pride or a controlling spirit. Let the H.S. lead us and let us listen to Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csreeves Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? self righteousness, slandar, gossip, and mean spirited slander. No leader can support the one true God with these qualities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Pride, He wants to be first and not submissive to anyone, He shows no servant qualities, no love for the church and unwilling to serve. No a person who is a strong pastoral leader will have the love of Christ in his heart and be willing to serve the church and be the best leader he can be. To fight against pride we need to pray that the Holy Spirit gives us the gift of self control, and love for the church to make us humble and submissive to the call of Holy Spirit to be used as He desire not as we desire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Unfortunately Diotrephes had an exaggerated view of his own importance. He forgot that Jesus is the Head of the church and the Holy Spirit is the representative of our Lord Jesus in the church. He was doing untold harm to the congregation and to the truth. We can most definitely have a strong church leader who is not a Diotrephes; he would lead with humility and love, acknowledging our Lord as the true leader. I think most of us battle with pride now and then, I certainly do. But then I ask myself what I have received from God. Answering this question is a great antidote to arrogance and a great help to humility. The answer is of course everything! The list is endless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moises Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Q4.(3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? 3 John 9-10 reads: 9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. 10 Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church. 11 Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but[d] he who does evil has not seen God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haar Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Diotrephes exhihibitted self centred, domineering and manupulating spirit. A leader can be a strong leader without these character flaws if he submits to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Those of us who have a Diotrephes spirit should commit ourselves to God, ask Him to fill us with His Holy Spirit who will help us to be leaders that build the congregation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Diotrephes was not into serving Christ but himself. He used the church to boost his ego. I think he was probably insecure. He did not have a selfless spirit but a selfish one. He wanted to control everything so he would not be threatened by anyone elses God given gifts and talents. I have met some like this and they tend to stifle all life. Personally I don't think Diotrephes was a strong pastoral leader because of these tendencies or flaws. If you have these traits they should be dealt with so that you can be a godly pastor with a servant spirit. There is a tendency in the human pschy to have these traits and that is why we need to humble ourselves before the Lord and pray that He search us and find those things that He doesn't like and cleanse us from them. God Bless! Jen Numbers 6:24-26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antwan Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Diotrephes is a self-centered, immature church leader that is threatened by the authority of others; he has a controlling spirit about him. I believe a strong pastoral leader must be balanced; they must know how to take charge to handle the role of pastor (the Bible says that to take care of God's house, he has to know how to lead his own), but he must not be so controlling as to never accept anyone else's viewpoints other than his own; that is not humility and it's not of God; his main goal is to see that what is good for the church is accomplished, not his own will. One struggling with traits similar to Diotrephes need to humble themselves and remember why they were bestowed with leadership in the church: to bring about God's will and not their own; also, they should remember that the church is in it together to bring glory to God, become more like God in our character, and bring about God's will. They also need to remember that the minister to the congregation is not a tyrant, but in fact, a servant. Also (this should have been first), they should seek God in prayer for what is the best choice to take in matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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