Q4. The Self-Centered Leader

[Delivered]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

1. Diotrephes does not recognize John

[masika]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Diotrephes has the following character

(1) He refuses to have anything to do with other spiritual leaders,

(2) He slanders other leaders,

(3) He is a bad example in refusing to welcome any teachers, and

(4) His attempt to excommunicate those who opposed his leadership.

Sins such as pride, jealousy, and slander are still present in the church, and when a leader makes a habit of encouraging sin and discouraging right actions, he must be stopped. If no one speaks up, great harm can come to the church. We must confront sin in the church; if we try to avoid it, it will continue to grow. A true Christian leader is a servant, not an autocrat!

[Craig]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

He is self-centered, insecure, and domineering. It is his way or no way. A pastor must be an encourager, full of the love of Jesus Christ. A pastor must, to be effective, practice I Cor. 13. A pastor must be open to team engagement as well as the ideas of others (whether he puts them in effect or not). A pastor must permit members of his/her fellowship to practice and exercise the gifts God has given them as part of the body.

Most importantly, a pastor must act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. That is how you fight pride and being a controlling spirit. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. As pastoral leaders, we must permit God to be God in our lives and let God edit out those things that don't belong and add those things that do.

[Craig]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

He is self-centered, insecure, and domineering. It is his way or no way. A pastor must be an encourager, full of the love of Jesus Christ. A pastor must, to be effective, practice I Cor. 13. A pastor must be open to team engagement as well as the ideas of others (whether he puts them in effect or not). A pastor must permit members of his/her fellowship to practice and exercise the gifts God has given them as part of the body.

Most importantly, a pastor must act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. That is how you fight pride and being a controlling spirit. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. As pastoral leaders, we must permit God to be God in our lives and let God edit out those things that don't belong and add those things that do.

[glory]

DIOTROPHES IS PRIDEFUL, CONTROLLING, SELFISH AND A MALICIOUS GOSSIP.IT'S DIFFICULT TO BECOME A STRONG PASTORAL LEADER AND NOT DEVELOP THESE ATTRIBUTES UNLESS ONE LEARNS TO BE HUMBLE BEFORE THE LORD.IT TAKES THE HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BECOME A HUMBLE SERVANT WILLING TO PUT OTHERS FIRST AND STILL LOVE THEM WHEN THEY ARE UNLOVABLE. I HAVE YET TO MEET A PASTOR WHO HASNT CRITICISED SOMEONE'S ELSE'S CHURCH OR MINISTRY.I FIGHT AGAINST PRIDE AND CONTROL BY CONTINUALLY SURRENDERING ALL MY CHARACTER DEFECTS TO THE LORD AND CRYING OUT TO HIM TO HELP ME TO NOT TRY TO BE CONTROLLING OR PRIDEFUL, WHICH I ADMIT IS DIFFICULT TO DO WITHOUT HIS HELP.

[MAMA]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Diotrephes exhibit a domineering attitude one fueled by wanting to be in control of everything and everybody. He is arrogant and puffed up. You cant' be a leader and show these character flaws. A strong pastoral leader can lead without developing these traits. He must show compassion and love towards his fellow man. To fight against a controlling spirit you must surrender your all to God. Ask God forgiviness and guide you to do His will and not ours.

Patricia

[maddog]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Diotrephes is stuck on himself, sel-interested, malicious, braggard, threatened, power hungry, wants to be the go-to guy,and afraid of being challenged.

One can be a strong pastoral leader if they follow God's plan for the Church. They also must have a strong prayer life, welcoming God's children to assist in the growth of the Gospel. Another point I see is before something is done, pray and ask for guidance, and have courage to reflect to make sure God is talking and not their inner self.

When these traits boil up in my chest, I quickly go to prayer asking God to help me those thoughts and to help me keep the right perspective.

[charchar]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them? Diotrephes is all about self,he wants to be incharge but don't really understand what a great or even a good leader true mission is. A pastoral can not be a strong pastoral leader if he is all about self. What is best for the salvation of those that is in his congrations and present is more important. You can't be about doing things your way and only your way. Where is the God in what you are doing? How does your actions represent the love of God? If you have tendecies of a controling spirit are any spirit that is not of God you must pray and pray honestly to God to be deliver from that spirit and give you the true fruits of the spirit. You must be humble to receive not controlling and have the attitude because of your position that I'm in charge and what I say goes. Wrong answer it's God way are not way.

[sahala p.s.]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

First, he is self-centered; second, he is proud of himself, he does not want to humble himself; third, he is domineering and controlling, and fourth, he is a slanderer

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

Yes, he/she can, if he/she wants to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

I have to learn to humble myself by the help of the Holy Spirit

[Foofee's Nana]

What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

He is domineering and sefl centered.

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

I think yes...it may be a downfall or temptation of anyone in powere, especially a pastor. Ego becomes involved and he must keep in prayer to let it be God's Holy Word that is center, not self. I think many times our ministers are tempted to let it be only about them and it does stifle the other believers.

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

I have to keep myself in prayer and continue asking God for His direction so my pride does not try to be center stage.

[Debra M.]

What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

Pride, jealousy, animosity and hostility.

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

Yes. Good strong leadership is essential in the success of the body of Christ.

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Prayer and keeping in the Word of God and asking God to help us recognize when we are falling into a "Diotrephes" behavior mode.

[royk]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

WE are humans, created by a loving God, and all have flaws. This bible reminder is a good example. The fact that Diotrephes is a leader in this specific church doesn't make him more sinful than any of us. The bible has many reminders of spiritual leaders who are flawed. How do we use this example to recall events where our pride overwhelmed us. How do we thank God for revealing this to us? To what level has he gone so we would understand the sin involved? Our answer depends upon what we are willing to see in ourselves and will we ask God to help us overcome "ourselves"? In prayer, seeking wisdom and repentance is certainly one way. Spending time digesting and meditating on the "Word of God" is another way. Each person can have a different path to recognition, and restoration. It is our choice!

[saskheather]

He is taking over. He does not want anyone to point out where he is wrong. This can happen but doesn't have to ,The leader must remain humble and focussed on the will of God.

[anne1151]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

1. Meanspirited, domineering, controlling, self-centered, selfish.

2. Yes if he remains humble and looks to God for guidance.

3. By walking closely with God, keeping in His word. Remembering how very far I am from being perfect like Jesus was. God loves us all equally, so should I.

[Ramon]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Answer:

1. What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

PRIDE.(1 John 2;16- For all that [is] in the world, the **** of the flesh, and the **** of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

2. Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

YES.

3. If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Go TO THE WORD AND PRAY FOR GUIDANCE…

[servant for Christ]

The character flaws Diotrephes had was he was self-centered, to be the exclusive authority, domineering and controlling, and a mean-spirited slanderer. Yes, a pastor can be strong without these traits, they are not God's traits. When I feel pride or controlling, I pray. I pray everyday for God to help me to be like Him.

[jacquie7]

Diotrephes was selfish, prideful, controlling, mean-spirited, and slanderous. Strong pastoral leaders DO NOT display these traits if they want to be obedient to God’s command and care for His flock. Anyone who has such tendencies (to include myself) needs to pray and ask God to heal us of these tendencies and we recognize our weaknesses and step aside for the good of the church (body of Christ).

[Craig]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Diotrephes had a exaggerated view of his own importance. He was a virtual dictator in the assembly. His sin was pride of place, an inflated ego, being a slanderer, and displaying a violent jealously for what he regarded as his own rights. He had forgotten that Jesus Christ is the head of the church. Maybe he never knew that. He had forgotten that the Holy Spirit is the Vicar or Representative of Christ in the church. No mere man has the right to take charge, to make decisions, to receive, or to refuse outside the Holy Spirit and the backing of the Body of Church. Much conduct is a dictatorship, not reflecing the Spirit of Christ, and God hates it. See Proverbs 6:16-19.

A person can be a strong pastor through exercising Godly love (I Corin. 13), leadership by example, and application of the Word of God. I have found in my own capacity as a pastor that a strong pastor must be humble and walk humbly with God. These traits will fight against pride and a controlling spirit. Showing alot of grace toward others help immensely.

[Guitar Jim]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

 

Diotrephes is a domineering control freak. He is terribly insecure in his leadership. He is also a slanderer.

 

 

 

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

 

Of course. The mature pastoral leader would encourage gifted people in his/her congregation to further develop their gifts and guide them, not stifle and supress them. I reckon any leader or pastor should pray that God will keep them aware of any tendancy to pride, insecurity and domineering traits that may develop if not otherwise nipped in the bud.

 

 

 

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

 

I used to have a little card with the gifts of the Spirit written on them stuck to the fridge with a magnet. Seeing that many times a day would remind me to strive to exhibit those qualities. It's also beneficial to keep in mind that whoever would be a leader must be the servant of the rest. Jesus said that to humble James and John. It obviously worked. Despite his position as the beloved disciple John certainly appears to have a very humble and serving heart in his writings. When I was home group leader years ago I kept that saying of Jesus in my head like a mantra. Whoever would be a leader must be the servant of the rest.

During my years in the workforce I realized I had leadership ability but I was never comfortable in that role. I preferred to be the 2IC, second in charge. I preferred to defer to someone with greater leadership ability.

[Old Jerry]

Diotrephes character flaws seem to be a selfish domineering leader of the church. He don’t like to have is leadership put in doubt. But a person can be a strong pastoral leader with our developing these traits. We have one leading our church right now. I think that the best ways that you fight the tendencies in yourself toward pride and a controlling spirit, it can be fought by prayer and having a prayer buddy that understands what you are going through.

[wifee]

4a)Diotrephes is self-centrered,likes to be having exclusive authrity,not to be in position where other challenge his leadership;he is domineering&controlling suppressing others opinions.He is a mean spirited slanderer,insecure in his own leadership,full of pride.

 

b)Leaders need a degree of self-confidence to lead, but should seek the Lords help to resist prideful thoughts, and rather seek to lead with humble authority.c)we can confess to the Lord,where know have allowed pride to surface,and ask his help to actively lead with humility.

[tgandy]

Diotrephes is self centered, feels he is the exclusive authority, is domineering and controlling and is a mean spirited slanderer.  He really is the poster child for and unloving Christian. A person most certainly can be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits.  The way I approach this is I may be the spiritual leader, but we are all in this together.  I may try something new, but I ask would you like to try this and then get feed back.  Everything we do is for the glory of God.  We are only his hands and feet.

[Uncle Dave]

What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

He was self-centered, prideful, controlling, domineering, a slanderer, and a mean person. I’m sure there were others.

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?

Yes, a person can do this is he learns to be humble and stay that way.

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Prayer is most effective and if a person is willing enough to look inside him/herself deep enough and see things like this within whether resulting from reading, studying, people telling you, or just prayerful searching but, one has to be able to admit to himself that a problem exists.

[hanks]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) 
What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? 
Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? 
If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?
Unfortunately, Diotrephes had an exaggerated view of his own importance. He forgot that Jesus is the Head of the church and the Holy Spirit is the representative of our Lord Jesus in the church. He was doing untold harm to the congregation and to the truth. We can most definitely have a strong church leader who is not a Diotrephes; he would lead with humility and love, acknowledging our Lord as the true leader. I think most of us battle with pride now and then, I certainly do. But then I ask myself what I have received from God. Answering this question is a great antidote to arrogance and a great help to humility. The answer is of course everything! The list is endless – my life, freedom, health, abilities, food and shelter, answered prayer, forgiveness of sin, every true source of joy, and my certain hope of heaven.
 

[Reuben]

Q4. (3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit? Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits? If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Diotrephes's biggest problem is pride. He develops all the other additional flaws from having too much pride, and this causes him to gossip, influence negatively, unloving, self-centred, and domineering, almost bullying. You can , and have to be a leader without these traits. Jesus is a great example of how you should act as a leader, loving, caring, wisdom, compassionate, but teaching with authority. 

You need to humble yourself first and foremost before God, and you need to pray to God to help you do this, and be aware of the Holy Spirit in you convicting you in your conscience when you are not doing this. Honesty to yourself , honesty to God , by admitting you have this character flaw, admitting to it , is the starting point. We all have this tendency to want to be first, or better, or more popular, but we know how we cant not afford to fall into the trap of exalting one self. Instead being humble and glory be to God.