Pastor Ralph Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickledilly Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 What a helpful explanation of these verses, Pastor Ralph. I think Paul certainly had specific purpose in mind when he called women to submit and men to love. Kingdom living is contrary to human nature. In this relationship of marriage, God is calling husbands and wives to do what is not generally natural to our nature. What we're talking about here are behaviors that only He can rightly do in us. Women love easily, but human nature wants to be in charge. In His wisdom that we don't completely understand (or even always like), the LORD has entrusted to husbands the responsibility of headship in the family. So Paul challenges women to honor the LORD by willingly yielding our natural tendency to control and lead (especially what we nurture) to that charge. Wives are called to respect/help husbands in their position of godly authority. We have been given the responsibility/privilege to portray the respect and submission of the beautiful and pure Bride of Christ to her Bridegroom. Men easily relate to their role of protector, guardian, provider - all things they can do. They're not always quite so good at the "touchy-feely" side of life that deals with emotions. And so Paul calls them to specifically consider the very real emotional needs of wives. A woman is built up and encouraged (and will put up with a lot of mistakes!) when she experiences faithful love and can trust a husband's heart of good toward her. Men have been called to the responsibility/privilege of portraying the perfect balance of authority and unconditional love that our Bridegroom has for His Bride. Because both charges are contrary to the flesh, none of this works right unless both husband and wife are properly yielded to Christ's Spirit. When a wife doesn't respect her husband's role, he feels unloved and becomes selfish in giving love to her. If a person becomes unloving, he becomes harsh. When a husband doesn't support his wife's need for love displayed, she feels disrespected and loses esteem for him. If you don't respect someone you won't yield yourself. Lack of love leads to lack of respect and vice-versa. It becomes a cycle that perpetuates itself unless we identify the problem and deliberately invite the Spirit to help us change our mindset, words, and actions. Outer triggers feed both problems, but the true cause is from the inner nature of the flesh. We operate out of pride, self-protection, neediness, personal expectations, selfishness, flawed judgment when we're not fully submitted to the Spirit and the nature of Christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Paul DiMino Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masika Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer? This is because in a marriage relationship, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands – considering all the things he could have said? Paul wrote scripture under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so he gave the directions the Lord showed him to give. I don't think Paul was married, (not positive), so he wouldn't have been speaking from personal experience but rather giving the Lord's instruction to married couples. He may have been thinking about his past and the trouble he caused following his own willful, ignorant instincts, as well as the difficulties of getting along with one another in general. Add to that, two people with fallen natures and self centered wills of their own coming together to live as one is a recipe for chaos and dissention, without the intervention of the Lord and some guidelines to live in harmony. Why is true submission difficult for wives? I think it can be for a number of reasons....If the husband is controlling or harsh, human nature is such that we want to resist those qualities. (God wired us up to desire freedom) Another is ignorance of God's guidelines. Yet another is a rebellious or strong willed temperament which doesn't want to be under any authority, period! Wrong teaching can lead one to believe that a Christian wife should be a doormat or a slave to her husband. No teaching at all can lead to continual hostility and fighting for the leadership role. Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? Because they are human beings with fallen, self centered natures, before the Lord works to change those qualities. For the same reason it's difficult for wives to submit to them. Human beings are self centered creatures, and only the Lord can change the heart. What prompts harshness in a husband – is the cause inner or outer? I'm not a man, but my guess is that it's the same for women....unhealed wounds from the past, or just a plain bossy, angry nature which has not been submitted to the Lordship of Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iam4-1god Posted May 29, 2010 Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marloes Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands - considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer? In the Christian life, God considers the home to be a very important place, and Paul knows this. The family unit was designed by God for the preservation of much that is worthwhile in life. Today as we see less and less attention is devoted to the home, more and more our civilization deteriorates. It is in the Christian home that spiritual qualities are developed. The father must have his place of authority in the home, and he must exercise it in wisdom and love. The wife and mother should realize that her first responsibility is to God and then to her family. In our modern world today, with all the human rights, wives sometimes find it difficult to be submissive to their husbands. But in the Christian home she can be a blessing to her husband, can exert a gracious, very powerful, and beneficent influence upon him, and can promote not only his but also her own happiness. She is not to dominate or to lead, but to follow his leadership, wherever she can do so without compromising her loyalty to Christ; her first loyalty is always to the Lord Jesus. Husbands, too, have a responsibility. They are to love their wives, and not to be bitter toward them. If these simple precepts were followed, many of the problems of married life would disappear, and homes would be happier in the Lord. Actually no wife would be likely to object to submitting to a husband who truly loves her. Thus, the husband, having fully committed himself to the principle that his love for his wife must be a true reflection of the deep, sacrificial love of Christ, acts toward her as a man of understanding, is never harsh or over-powering, but is considerate toward her, and honours her in every way. In such a marriage each seeks to please and benefit the other, and to promote the other's welfare, and this not only physically and culturally but also, and in fact mainly, spiritually. The husband views his wife as his equal in the sense that she is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodR Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer? I think Paul's directions given to Christian wives and husbands were designed to show non-believers of the time what a difference Christ makes in their lives. It must have been counter-cultural for wives to submit to or respect their husbands and for husbands to show love and compassion for their wives. Paul also wrote for wives and husbands to "submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ." (Eph 5:21 Good News Bible) Paul’s similar words in Ephesians clearly connect Christ with the directions given. To wives Paul says, “submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Eph 5:22) and to husbands he says, “love your wives as Christ loved the church.” (Eph 5:25) Both submission and unselfish love are difficult without the heart change brought about by a relationship with Christ. Therefore, the excuse for harshness may be outer, but the root cause is inner. Wives who love the Lord and submit to Him will find it easier to understand submission to their husbands. Husbands who love the Lord and understand His love for the church will find it easier to love their wives unselfishly. The key to our relationship with a spouse is our mutual relationship with Christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taray Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bower Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking His Face Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elwood C O'Dell Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Perhaps Paul was thinking about the fact that as things go in the home, they have an influence on other relationships outside of the home. I am not so sure that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia A Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband is the cause inner or outer? When the directions Paul gave to wives and husbands are followed, there is true love and concern for each other. Peace and love begin in the home and radiates to the world outside of the home. True submission of wives will be a joy if the husband truly loves and shows care and consideration for his wife. This kind of relationship bring happiness and contentment as each cares and loves the other. Harshness in a husband may come because the husband does not understand God's Word, the husband may be insecure or not feel appreciated as well as many other reasons. Perhaps the husband does not realize that God is so important in a loving marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delivered Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said? Paul was relating what God told us in the scriptures (Gen 3:16) Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shall bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over you. Why is true submission difficult for wives? True submission is difficult not just for wives, but for all people, we are all called to submit to those in authority; being submissive is God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrD Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 There is order in all things as absence in order results in choas - these roles and commands are purposed to keep or maintain a peaceful atmosphere that would result in the family growing in Christ and also having a positive impact on others which could aide in drawing them to Christ. . . Unselfish love seems difficult to husbands because we fail to understand the positive effect it has. Jesus loves us unselfishly even when we are not in total agreement and obsdience to Him. . . Harshness is promoted by our misunderstanding that obedience is not to be demanded - but can be expected when real love is applied. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickledilly Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sylverd Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbisu Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WALT39 Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer? Colossians 3:18-19 - 18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Jesus believed strongly in marriage. The cornerstone of a marriage is centered around Jesus Christ. Jesus said in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." This is evidence that Jesus is there in the midst of the marriage. I think that Paul wrote these instructions in order that both the wife and husband needs Jesus in their lives and ultimately release their marriage to Jesus. They both must be servants to Jesus. The problem is that a couples want to do their own thing and therefore they have difficulty submitting and they then become harsh with each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie123 Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 I think that Paul was looking for accountability in a marriage. There had to be order establish. there had to be an consequence for wrong behavior. I think that is because the way woman have been brought up to be very independent. Even as young girls. woman were put in roles where they had to take care of the house and maybe even younger brothers and sisters it may seem like we have to put all that aside and as if we have no identity and submit to a husband that sometimes treat us as second class citizens.I dont even think that men think that they are being unselfish. They just think and are usually raised to believe that they are the king of the castle and its their way or you are not submitting to their headship. lack of understanding that husbands should love their wives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLD GARY Posted June 1, 2010 Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul H Posted June 1, 2010 Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said? Why is true submission difficult for wives? Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands? What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer? I think Paul's directions given to Christian wives and husbands were designed to show non-believers of the time what a difference Christ makes in their lives. It must have been counter-cultural for wives to submit to or respect their husbands and for husbands to show love and compassion for their wives. Paul also wrote for wives and husbands to "submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ." (Eph 5:21 Good News Bible) Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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