Q1. Wives and Husbands

[PATCH]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[Lion of Grace]

Paul gave these specific directions in summation of what brings harmony in marriage. Admonition for wives to submit and husbands to love is calling each one to live unselfishly in what is hardest to do for each one. Women naturally "nurture" but tend to want to "rule the roost." Men on the other hand, are not natural nurturers, but understand the logic of the need for order and realistic measures to make things work. They are "solution" oriented. Women react emotionally and benefit from the logic of a husband. Men would do well to listen to women who can see a kinder gentler way to present an issue. It's a complimenting of gifts....not working against each other. When men really love their wives, women feel secure in trusting a husband who listens to them, who considers them and their gifts and worth as a person and will become willing to submit to any final decisions the man may make. And someone has to have the final say-so!

I believe harshness in husbands come from many different areas. Some have known only harshness in their own lives and repeat those behaviors. Some are frustrated in life and become angry and harsh. Some believe lies that to be the head of the home, they have to yield a bat and "make" people submit. Some have been taught "head of the home" means undisputed power for themselves breeding extreme selfishness. Really though....I believe unless men or women know God's love and grace, they can not give love and grace to another. Unless men or women know submission and trust in God, they can never really be unselfish towards another, submitting to each other, because all our trust is in God and we submit everything to Him for consideration. He's really the head of all and our security in all things.

[RodR]

I can't add much to what Rod has said on this, so I am quoting Rod's response above. The only thing which I would add is that although a mutual relationship with Christ is the only perfect scenario, it sometimes happen that the mutual relationship isn't there. However, this doesn't affect the instructions given by Paul and, in fact, in following Paul's instructions, the Christian spouse in the relationship is reflecting Christ's love and pointing the way to Christ to the non Christian spouse.

You are right. Thanks for pointing that out.

[alexandria]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[haar]

Paul chose to give directions on the relationship of wives and husbands becuase such relationship determines the direction of the entire family. Where there is a submissive wive and a loving husband, the home will wtness love and peace that radiate to the children and others.

True submissiveness may be difficult when a wife feels that the husband does not trully love her. On the other hand, husbands as natural humans, tend to be selfish and hardly offer true love without condition of perfection expected from the wife.

[csreeves]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[charisbarak]

Aside from unselfish love for each other, these are basics. These are the fruit of unselfish love for each other.

I think wives have trouble with submission because it is demanded for by the husbands. I guess not seeing unselfish love for the wife, submission is difficult.

Unselfish love by the husband is hard because it seems to go against his pride & manliness--so he thinks.

Harshness by the husband can be a result of how he is treated by his wife, or a wife who will not be walked on by her husband or a fear of losing control. Both inner & outer reasons.

[Old Jerry]

I think that Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands because they are the things that will hold the marriage together. It is the mutual respect that is required and this requires mutual respect.

The reason that true submission is difficult for wives is because they want to be their own person.

Unselfish love is difficult for the husband because they think that they have got to be in control of all things and unselfish love makes it look like they lost control. This is a sissy thing in a manly world.

I think the thing that prompts harshness in a husband is caused by an outer. We want to look like we have control and we want others to see that we have this control.

[SoiKosum]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[Foofee's Nana]

Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[janel]

Q1 Paul chose these directions because of the false teachers' influences, to protect

the Christian slaves and protect the women from their husbands.

True submission is difficult for wives because in Paul's days, they have no voice

in anything even to the extend of being treated like a slave and still have to

treat their husbands like lords.

Unselfish love is difficult for husbands because to follow the Christian way of

marriage they have to have patience and tolerance, no retaliation or violence on

their wives even though they rebel against them.

Husbands are always lords over their wives and in bitter anger or rebellion on

the part of the wives, the husbands will tend to be harsh on them.

The cause can be for both, inner and outer. Inner is when oneself could not control

anger and provoke it. Outer to show who is boss.

[janel]

Q1 Paul chose these directions because of the false teachers' influences, to protect

the Christian slaves and protect the women from their husbands.

True submission is difficult for wives because in Paul's days, they have no voice

in anything even to the extend of being treated like a slave and still have to

treat their husbands like lords.

Unselfish love is difficult for husbands because to follow the Christian way of

marriage they have to have patience and tolerance, no retaliation or violence on

their wives even though they rebel against them.

Husbands are always lords over their wives and in bitter anger or rebellion on

the part of the wives, the husbands will tend to be harsh on them.

The cause can be for both, inner and outer. Inner is when oneself could not control

anger and provoke it. Outer to show who is boss.

[Craig]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[Commissioned]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[spring]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19)

Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands - considering all the things he could have said?

I believe Paul's objective was to instill harmony and unity among family members.

Why is true sumbmission difficult for wives?

I feel this is particularly difficult because some view submission as a form of dictatorship rather than a form to promote a harmonious relationship among two equal human beings. If the husband supports and treats the wife with respect, she lovingly and voluntarily will follow his lead.

Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands?

Some men view it as a threat to their masculinity. I believe that some men feel uneasy about demonstrating unselfish love because of the view it could be perceived as a form of weakness.

What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer?

Unfortunately there are husbands who have not been exposed to role models to show them how to treat a woman. If their fathers were abusive and harsh towards their mother, they in turn can replicate the same animosity towards their wives. This causes a vicious cycle.

[Jen]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[Ramon]

Answer:Apostle Paul is trying to put guidelines to The Collosae believers on relationship between Husband and Wife,with emphasis on their relationship to God,notice in verse 18

[saja3]

I think because women and men want to retain their own identity, not giving in to the fact that two becomes one in the union of marriage in the sight of God and to totally submit would be giving up that identity. Unselfish love is difficult because some men feel that they are the "man", or they are the stronger of the two, everything is for them which also prompts harshness. And yes it is both inner as well as outer. But the directions that Paul give promotes harmony in the relationship. By a woman submitting, allowing her husband to be the "man" or to be her "husband" shows respect. When a man loves "his" wife he also shows respect for his family and it demonstrats to his children, compassion, honor and unity for family and obediance to God.

[AngelOnLine]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands -- considering all the things he could have said?

Paul was simply giving them the directions that the Lord gave to him.

Why is true submission difficult for wives?

True submission is difficult for some women because they want to be in charge and don't like being told to submit to their husband.

Why is unselfish love difficult for husbands?

Some men, and some women too, are self centered. It's all about "me." To show unselfish love is very difficult sometimes.

What prompts harshness in a husband? Is the cause inner or outer?

He wants to be the

[AngelOnLine]

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[Highohfaith]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[leihaynes]

Q1. (Colossians 3:18-19) Why do you think Paul chose these directions to give to wives and husbands

[poetmom]

Aside from what many people think about Paul, he is not a sexist in these writings. In fact, to tell a woman that she has a CHOICE to submit to her husband, not out of cultural obligation or by force, but as a way to express her faith, is profound. This is a man who said that are all equal and who partnered with women in ministry. I used to avoid Paul before I really understood the magnitude of what he did for women, men, and marriage as a whole. But he really hits home with these difficult commands. It is hard for anyone to submit to someone else or for anyone to truly love sacrificially because of our selfish natures. His expectations are high, but if husbands and wives truly gave this a shot, marriages, families, and really, whole societies, would be transformed. Imagine! There is hope!

[wifee]

1a)Paul chose these directions probably because he knew the pattern Jesus sets - Christ head of the church,his body of which he is saviour.church submits to Christ. Christ loved the church &gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25 Therefore husbands as head offamily should love their wives sacrificially putting their needs incl emotions first,to encourage &build them up. Wives as bride should voluntarily show respect for husbands authority in decisions&help them.

B)Wives human nature falls prey to sins call to assert control. It

[jacquie7]

Paul gives these directions to both wives and husbands because it is agreeable to the order of nature and is the appointment and will of God, because He made man first and made him the head over the woman as Christ is over the church. It is difficult for women to submit because they feel that submission is a sign of weakness and it devalues one’s self worth. Men have difficulty with unselfish love because they are immature and lack humility; they are brought up not to do things that show signs of weakness (cry, discuss feelings). Harshness can be both inner and outer (inner in that there could be something that occurred in the past that can cause one to act harshly). Husbands can become harsh when wives do or not do what he thinks she should do or not do and it can also be something that they learned by watching their fathers interact with their mothers.